Jack had only just left my rooms when, as if to prove what he had said, Lambert strolled in and asked me if I would let him have lunch with me. My table-cloth was laid and I couldn't tell him that I was lunching out, so I told him that Murray was coming. He replied that he liked Murray, and since that had failed I said that I was going to play footer and had very little time, but he answered that he would not be able to stay for more than half-an-hour. Meals with Lambert were apt to get less simple as they went on, for he had a habit of saying that he wanted nothing and then of demanding port with his cheese and liqueurs to save him from indigestion, but I could not get rid of him, so apart from making up my mind that his luncheon should be as short as possible, I left him alone. He read the paper for a few minutes and then asked me if I did not like his waistcoat. It looked to me like some new kind of puzzle, so I asked him if he had the answer in his pocket, but he was looking at it thoughtfully and did not answer. "Nice shade, isn't it?" he said presently. I thought that there was more glare than shade about it and told him so. "It's unique," he declared, and at last I was able to agree with him. "Have you called on that man Thornton?" he asked, and stood up so that he could see his waistcoat and himself in the glass. "I never call on anybody. I have had a lot of freshers to meals, but I don't know Thornton; he is supposed to be cracked, isn't he?" "Of course he is. We've got a splendid rag on. I thought of it, and Dennison is going to work it out. Do you think this coat fits properly in the back? I met Collier this morning and he swore it didn't." "What's the rag?" I asked. Clarkson came in with a message from Murray to say that he could not come to luncheon. "That's a good job," Lambert remarked. "I thought you liked Murray," I answered. "He would not have cared about our rag. I don't suppose Collier knows when a coat fits, he's so fat that a petticoat would suit him better than a pair of trousers." "Here's lunch," I said, and as soon as I had got him away from the spot where he could examine his clothes, I asked again what was going to happen. "Thornton is absolutely green, Dennison will be able to do exactly what he likes with him." "Poor brute." "I can never make out why you pretend to hate Dennison, he wouldn't mind being friends with you; besides, it makes things very disagreeable for me." "I don't pretend anything," I said. "At any rate it's very stupid of you; you are both Mohocks, and ought to be friends." I thought he had come on a peace mission, so, to prevent waste of time, I said what I thought of Dennison. "You make a mistake about him altogether," he said. "Got any port?" "You'll get as fat as Collier if you aren't careful, and it wouldn't suit you a bit," I replied, and stayed in my chair. "Port doesn't make people fat," but he spoke doubtfully.