Golden Steps to Respectability, Usefulness and Happiness: Being a Series of Lectures to Youth of Both Sexes, on Character, Principles, Associates, Amusements, Religion, and MarriageAustin, John Mather
Philosophy
Golden Steps to Respectability, Usefulness and Happiness: Being a Series of Lectures to Youth of Both Sexes, on Character, Principles, Associates, Amusements, Religion, and Marriage
Austin, John Mather
Conduct of life
"The wish to marry, if _prudently_ indulged, will lead to honest and
persevering exertions to obtain a reasonable income--one which will
be satisfactory to the object of your hopes, as well as to her
friends. He who is determined on living a single life, very
naturally contracts his endeavors to his own narrow personal wants,
or else squanders freely, in the belief that he can always procure
enough to support himself. Indeed it cannot have escaped even the
careless observer that in proportion as an individual relinquishes
the idea of matrimony, just in the same proportion do his mind and
feelings contract. On the contrary that hope which aims at a beloved
partner--a family--a fireside--will lead its possessor to activity
in all his conduct. It will elicit his talents, and urge them to
their full energy, and probably call in the aid of economy; a
quality so indispensable to every condition of life. The single
consideration, 'What would she think were she now to see me?'
called up by the obtrusion of a favorite image,--how often has it
stimulated a noble mind and heart to deeds which otherwise had never
been performed!
"I repeat it, I am aware that this advice is liable to abuse. But
what shall be done? Images of some sort will haunt the mind more or
less--female influence in some shape or other, will operate. Is it
not better to give the imagination a virtuous direction than to
leave it to range without control, and without _end_?
"I repeat it, nothing is better calculated to preserve a young man
from the contamination of low pleasures and pursuits, than frequent
intercourse with the more refined and virtuous of the other sex.
Besides, without such society his manners can never acquire the
true polish of a gentleman,--general character, dignity, and
refinement;--nor his mind and heart the truest and noblest
sentiments of a man. Make it an object then, I again say, to spend
some portion of every week of your life in the company of
intelligent and virtuous ladies. At all events, flee solitude, and
especially the exclusive society of your own sex. The doctrines even
of Zimmerman, the great apostle of solitude, would put to shame many
young men, who seldom or never mix in female society.
"If you should be so unfortunate as not to have among your
acquaintance any ladies whose society would, in these points of
view, be profitable to you, do not be in haste to mix with the
ignorant and vulgar; but wait patiently till your own industry and
good conduct shall give you admission to better circles; and in the
meantime cultivate your mind by reading and thinking, so that when
you actually gain admission to good society, you may know how to
prize and enjoy it. Remember, too, that you are not to be so selfish
as to think nothing of contributing to the happiness of others. It
is blessed to _give_ as well as to _receive_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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