Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 1, January 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 1, January 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“If you will accede to my earnest request, take Claire with you to
America—care for her—watch over her—be to her all that, alas! her
father must not be—and I shall feel that all, and a thousand times more
than all I deserve, and all I live for, is granted, and shall at once
enter a convent of La Trappe. I long for it—I long for eternal silence;
and have only retained my present position, that I might find Claire,
read her character, and do what I could to unfold and strengthen it.
That mission is accomplished. Her native strength of wing has already
carried her mind beyond what my feeble flights can follow. She soars to
regions of purity and peace, where my soul cannot revel, unless after
long years of penance and suffering. She loves the ideal parent, who is
to her the personification of all virtue; and it is impossible, and
ought to be so, for me to sully her thoughts with the reality which to
her must always be a source of disappointment and mortification, and to
me inexpressible shame.”
This revelation was not unexpected to me, so far as regarded the
relationship of the two parties; but it filled me with much matter for
meditation. I had no curiosity to know the events of Father Angelo’s
past life. The lines of suffering, and the traces of strong passions,
were marked deeply on his marble brow, and composed even to severity as
his manner now was, I could read under the habitual restraint of his
expressive face, that no slight agony had wrought on a naturally proud
and sensitive spirit, before it could compel itself to forego its
sweetest pleasures rather than breathe on the purity of the beloved
object.
After some time passed on my side in revolving what I had heard, and
what I was expected to do, and on his, in a distressful silence that
watched painfully for my first word, I asked,
“But about Claire’s religious influences. She will have few of the kind
she has been accustomed to; and all her indirect influences, you must be
aware, will not be very favorable to her religious constancy.”
“I think she will become a Protestant. You are surprised that I should
be willing to trust her in such an atmosphere. But there are some minds
that are cast, so to speak, in a Protestant mould; and hers is one. She
has not a great deal of faith, and her mind naturally tends so much to
inquiry, perhaps I should say skepticism, that I found it difficult to
lead her. I may as well say at once, that my own reasons for adopting
the profession and character of a priest, were first to discover her,
and know her mind more intimately than I could do in any other position;
and secondly, because the Catholic faith promises more to me than any
other religion. I feel the need of what it has to give; but to Claire, I
can see its spirit and forms are not so necessary. I am not bigoted nor
intolerant, as you see. Perhaps I am not a good Catholic. But I wish you
to understand that I am not acting against my conscience.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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