Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 1, January 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 1, January 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“Miss Walton,—I return you your letters, and your vows of
love—when the substance is not possessed, how worthless is the
shadow. I scorn myself for having loved one who could so
wantonly trifle with a trustful, loving heart, which has been
taken when proffered, to throw away as a worthless object. May
you be happy, but that I am afraid you will not be. I hope that
you will be more careful of the next heart that you may witch to
love you. At least, never say of him in the presence of either
friends or enemies, “he will do well enough to amuse one’s self
with in the country!” I again say, may you be happy, and as my
happiness can only be in forgetting you, I shall never seek to
hear of you; and rest easy that this will be the last letter
with which you will ever be troubled from the hand of
Hugh Dudley.”
It was over! and I sat long silent and motionless with the letters
before me. I then determined to bear uncomplainingly my fate, and never
let _him_ know the agony which his thus breaking _our_ engagement had
caused me. “Did I die from it,” was my proud resolution, “I will die in
silence. He, to believe so quickly, so readily, an assertion made
against me, by an enemy of his, and proved by an enemy of mine. Did he
ask me, ‘Was it so—and wherefore?’ No: but acted on the information,
careless of my pain—oh! well he knew that I loved him—and exulted in
it from revenge. Had he asked me, oh! how humbly would I have
acknowledged my fault, and throwing myself more trustingly on his love,
how would I have prayed for forgiveness, till the proud man, in his
strength, would have been softened by my tears, and taken me again in
love to his bosom.” But it was over, and she who had caused this misery
should not triumph. I jumped from my seat, bathed my eyes, curled my
hair elaborately, decked myself in a most becoming dress, and on seeing
my ashy cheeks, in the glance I gave into the glass, for the first time
painted them with carmine. I then descended into the drawing-room. Mr.
Harold, the wealthy merchant from the city, whom I have spoken of, had
returned the day before, on a visit to my uncle, and for him, and to
him, I played and sung. I was in my wildest spirits. I kept up this
farce for weeks whenever the eyes of the household were upon me, till I
thought in the struggle my mind must give way. At this crisis a letter
came from a cousin of my mother, to whom I had written to ask for an
asylum, gladly welcoming me to her home—for she was aged and infirm,
and wanted companionship. I accepted at once; received a cold
acquiescence from my uncle—a still more indifferent one from my
cousin—and set out for my new home in Kentucky, determined to hide
myself forever from the eyes of those whose triumph was built on the
ruins of my happiness. Oh! Hugh, could you have known how deeply I have
repented of that speech, wrung from my wounded pride, even you would
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