Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 4, April 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 4, April 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
The next day Roderick did not appear upon the deck; in truth there were
very few who did. After indulging him a few days, which I charged to
account of sea-sickness, and still not seeing him, I found my way into
the steerage, and found the poor fellow more sick in mind than in body.
He had spent the greater part of his money in trying to drown his grief;
and now that he thought he had nearly succeeded, he looked none the
better for the success. That face, he said, so like _hers_, he could not
escape from now; he must remain near it for days, weeks. He could almost
curse the ill-favored steamship, whose delay had not only doomed him to
the crowded steerage of the packet, but to weeks of torture he could not
escape from. He would not appear at all upon deck, and the air of the
between-decks was almost poisonous. In a few days he was confined to his
berth with a burning fever. I had confided to Miss Thornton every thing,
except the history of Ella, which I disguised in such a way as not to
diminish her sympathies for the invalid. One day, to my great
astonishment, she had, with her father, gone to minister to him, and
spoke with gladness of the better condition she had left him in. He
talked to her very tenderly of Ella. They went, she and her kind father,
to visit him every day. I saw how the fire was consuming him, and
endeavored to interpose. I told Mr. Thornton every thing, all; but they
did not see his condition as I did. Whenever I would go, strange! he
would always beg me not to let them delay coming; but he was so
exhausted with fever, that I attributed this wonderful change, rather to
imbecility or delirium, than to a change of resolution. Poor Mary was
always by her brother’s side: even her poor babe lay neglected for him.
More than a fortnight he lay in this miserable condition; yet I was more
than sorry when I felt in his pulse the returning slow beat of health,
and saw his eye calm into quiet enjoyment of the congratulations which
poured in upon him. I was shocked. It is true a mountain of misery was
moved away, but his _reason was gone_. Miss Thornton went once again to
visit him, only once: and I shall never forget her look of agony and
self-reproach as she returned rather hastily to her room. I never knew
what passed at that interview. Perhaps she saw for the first time, that
while she deemed she was soothing his misery by her presence, she had
fed it to madness. He rapidly recovered and seemed happy, for he always
smiled when he asked me why the captain kept Ella locked up in the cabin
and sent her tender messages—_which I dared not give_. The last I ever
saw of him was in New York, when I was about to leave the ship. A young
man came aboard as we hauled up to the wharf, and I knew from the
portrait I had seen _in the cottage in Germany_, that it was Karl
Wagner. He soon found them; and the last I saw of poor Roderick, as I
went ashore, he was unfolding to the astonished Karl a scheme he had to
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