Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 4, April 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 4, April 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
Good Madame Steinberger had evidently heard something of what had
occurred at the professor’s house. She had been very kind to me, and was
kind still; but her reverence for Professor Haas somewhat jostled with
her regard for her young lodger. I would sit for hours in the evening,
dreaming of the past, thinking of Louise, dwelling upon happy hours that
were never to return. And then Madame Steinberger would come and attempt
to comfort me, saying, that it was mere boy and girl’s love, and would
soon pass away: that I and the young lady would both soon forget, and
that she doubted not to see us both happy parents.
If she had taken up a red-hot skewer, and thrust it into my heart, she
would not have produced more wretchedness than she did by her mode of
consolation.
No consolation—no thought—no philosophy was of any avail. It was a
period of intense bitterness, filled with many varied emotions, but all
of them most painful. Had my love been more ardent, more vehement than
it was, my condition would probably have been less sad. I should have
striven—I should have resisted—but a dark and gloomy feeling took
possession of my mind, that all who loved me, all who felt an interest
in me were destined to be lost to me, almost as soon as I felt the
blessing of their sympathy and kindness. I was more miserable than I can
describe: there was nothing to stimulate: to spur on endeavor: to rouse
up dormant energy. It was all dull, blank, monotonous, melancholy
inactivity.
Three weeks had passed in this manner, when one evening, as I was
sitting in the larger room, where good Frau Steinberger had kindled a
fire, with my feet upon the andirons, my head leaning on my hand, and a
book which I had vainly endeavored to read, fallen on the floor by my
side, there was a step in the passage and the door opened. I took no
notice: I cared for nothing: I was without hope or expectation: I was
once more cast upon the world—the fragment of a wreck upon the wide
ocean.
Suddenly a voice sounded near me, which I knew right well. “Louis,” it
said. “Louis, can you forgive me? Louis, will you save me—will you save
my child?”
I started up, and gazed upon the figure before me. I could hardly
believe it was my old friend the professor, so pale, so worn, so
sorrow-stricken was his look.
I instantly clasped his extended hand in mine. “My dear, good friend,” I
said, “what have I to forgive? I never sought to bring sorrow or
discomfort to your door—I would rather have died. That is all I have to
say. Tell me what I have to do—tell me what you would wish, and I am
ready to do it.”
“Come to Louise,” he said, wringing my hand hard. “Come to Louise—I
have been a fool—a madman—a mercenary wretch. You only can save
her—Come to her—come to her at once!”
I trembled violently, but I snatched up my hat, exclaiming, “let us go,”
and rushed out of the house before him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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