Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 6, June 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XL, No. 6, June 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
very moment I beheld her—before she even turned her eyes upon me, the
sight seemed to waken in an instant, dreams of happy early days—sweet
thoughts and feelings, which had slumbered for years unawakened by the
careless storekeeper, Memory.
It was therefore over these thoughts and feelings that I paused and
reflected, for so many hours.
I have often remarked in the course of life—in others as well as
myself—a somewhat curious phenomenon: namely, that when some great and
important—shall I call it change? No, not change. There are no changes
in human fate. They are all steps—steps toward a certain goal—That
when some great and important step, then, in human fate, is to be taken,
we feel an impression of the coming fact—we see, as it were, with the
eyes of the spirit, without the interference of the cold, hard,
short-sighted intellect, the awful magnitude of that which is before us;
and we are impelled to mark what at other times would seem the merest
trifles with anxious acuteness—to scan, as it were, the very pebbles in
our path, lest a rolling stone should make us lose our footing, and hurl
us over the precipice which we feel to be near at hand, though the mists
and darkness of our earthly being may hide the actual presence of the
yawning gulf.
What was to me a lady fainting in a carriage? What was there
extraordinary in a delicate woman giving way after an exciting scene,
and long and unusual fatigue? What was there in all that I had seen,
which could not be explained by a multitude of ordinary
circumstances—which I should not have left, at any other time, to rest
unthought of amongst the common, insignificant events of a day? And yet
I sat and pondered for four long hours, and even after I retired to bed
I could not sleep, but was kept awake with the same anxious thoughts.
Father Bonneville returned about two o’clock on the following day; but
with a lack of confidence which I rarely showed toward him—for he was
so gentle and so good, who could want confidence in him—I did not
mention at all, the little incident which had occurred at the mill. I
told him, however, all about the supposed sight I had caught of
Mariette, but the good Father only smiled at me.
“You are always thinking of Mariette, Louis,” he said, “and if you go on
so, I shall really fancy you are in love with her memory.”
“And so I am,” I answered frankly, “I can imagine a father would so love
a child, as I love Mariette; and I shall always love her so.”
“My dear boy,” replied Father Bonneville, laying his hand impressively
upon my arm, “that is impossible. You and Mariette are no longer
children; you might love her as a brother when you last saw her; but if
you love her at all, you must love her otherwise now.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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