Graham's Magazine, Vol. XVIII, No. 2, February 1841Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XVIII, No. 2, February 1841
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
The only solace to my afflictions, was a little daughter about eight
years old, but uncommonly mature both mentally and physically. She
attended me with untiring assiduity; she lifted the cup to my lips; she
soothed with her silvery tones the agony of my mind; she sang for me her
plaintive airs; she bathed my burning temples; she prayed for me—she
wept for me—she was every way the beau ideal of innocence and
affection.
“Father,” she would say, “why do you clench your hands—why do you rave
of ruin and beggary? We shall all go to work when you recover; and we
shall earn more money and be very happy.”
Alas poor Valeria! she little knew the loss I had sustained. It was not
the loss of luxury for that I never enjoyed; it was not the loss of
domestic peace—for I was a stranger to it; it was not the loss of
reputation, for I cared nothing about it; but it was the loss of
MONEY—of that which gave the only zest and pleasure to my life.
One mortification was spared us in our beggary. No splendid edifice was
to be abandoned—no luxurious equipage to be sold—no servants to be
dismissed—no fine costumes to be sacrificed—no sensitive feelings to
be wounded by a change from affluence to penury and want; our condition
remained unaltered. While blessed with riches I was too careful of them
to be guilty of extravagance. My avarice, not my prodigality, was my
ruin. I did not gamble for the pleasure of the game, but from sheer
desire to accumulate immense sums of money. I then conducted my affairs
on a grand scale. Wealth poured in on me not by degrees, but in floods.
Now, however, the time arrived when I was doomed to begin a new career
under new auspices. I had no Reniero or Manini to plunder by a few acts
of political sagacity. I had no immense states to retrieve my want of
luck with Carlo Dolci. To toil up the rugged path—to exert my humble
acquirement—to trade—to barter—to beg—were now the only means in my
power to make amends for want of prudence.
Having settled my wife and daughter in a small house, I procured, partly
on credit and partly with what little was left, a meagre stock of
jewelry, with which I sallied out as a travelling pedlar. By adopting
this course of life I sacrificed no fine feelings; I never was proud of
any thing except of my riches. I considered not that because I had
wielded an intriguing pen in the great contest between Bonaparte and
Lugi Manini, my dignity would in any degree be lessened by honest
exertions for the retrieval of my fortune.
The succeeding epoch in my career may be passed over. To detail the
vicissitudes of my wandering life—to dwell upon the manifold reverses
of fortune—to trace succinctly the gradual and disheartening manner in
which I acquired money—and to portray the eagerness—the infantile
delight with which I grasped it and hoarded it to my bosom—would be
alike futile and uninteresting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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