Graham's Magazine, Vol. XVIII, No. 6, June 1841Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XVIII, No. 6, June 1841
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“Miss Agnes—” but for the life of me I could not proceed. It was,
however, sufficient to induce her to look up, and our eyes met. At the
same instant she took my proffered hand. What happened afterward I could
never remember, only I recollect the blood rushed in torrents to my
cheeks, and I fancied that the tiny white hand I held in my own,
trembled a little, a very little, but still trembled. When I woke from
the delirium of indescribable emotions that ensued, I found myself
sitting with my guardian and Agnes in the parlor, but whether I walked
there on my head or my feet I cannot to this day remember.
The month which followed was among the happiest of my life, for it was
spent at the side of Agnes. We walked, rode, chatted, and sang together;
not a morning or an evening found us apart; and insensibly her presence
became to me almost as necessary as the air I breathed. Yet—I know not
how it was—Agnes was a mystery to me. At first, indeed, we were almost
on the same footing as if we had been brother and sister, but after I
had been at my guardian’s about a month, she began to grow reserved,
although at times she would display all her old frankness, united with
even more than her usual gaiety. Often too, when I looked up at her
suddenly, I would find her gazing into my face, and when thus detected,
she would blush and cast her eyes down, and seem so embarrassed that I
scarcely knew what to think, unless it was that Agnes—but no!—how
could she be in love with one almost a stranger?
For myself, I would have given the world, if I could only have
penetrated the secrets of her heart, and learned there whether the
affection toward her, which I had felt had stolen almost insensibly
across me, had been returned. Yes! I would have given an emperor’s
ransom to discover what my timidity would not allow me to enquire. It is
an old story, and has been told by hundreds before—this tale of a young
lover—but I cannot refrain from rehearsing it again. I was sadly
perplexed. Not a day passed but what I rose to the height of hope, or
fell to the depth of despair. A smile from Agnes was the sunlight of my
existence, and her reserve plunged me in unfathomable darkness. I could
not penetrate the fickleness of her manner, especially when any of her
young female friends were visiting her. If I spoke to them with any show
of interest, she would either be unnaturally gay or singularly silent,
and when I came to address her, I would be received with chilling
coldness. Yet, at other times, my despair would be relieved by a return
of her old frankness, and a hundred times have I been on the point of
telling her the whole story of my love, but either my fears, or her
returning reserve, prevented my purpose from being executed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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