This threat seemed to operate forcibly upon the count, for, extending his hand and striking an attitude, he exclaimed, “Alphonse! why how the devil did you get here?” “Hush! don’t call me Alphonse. I am Count Deflamzi.” “The deuce you are! Why, I am a count, too.” “So I supposed. How do you get on?” “Brilliantly—and you? When did you arrive?” “By the last Cunard steamer. Is it possible you haven’t seen me announced in the newspapers?” “I never read them. I consider newspapers a bore.” “Ha! I understand. Beau Shatterly thought the same of parish registers—‘a d—d impertinent invention!’ So they are—as thus; _Beware of imposition_: A scoundrel calling himself Count Tousky Wousky, but whose real name is—” “Hush! Are you mad?” “Ah! Philippe! Philippe! The chief cook at Vevay’s always used to say you would come to the gallows—eh?” As he revived the recollection of this pleasant vaticination, Count Deflamzi poked the end of his cane at one of Tousky Wousky’s ribs, in a manner which partook more of the familiar than the dignified. Poor Tousky Wousky bent his body to escape the blow, while he looked the picture of despair—the more so as at that moment old Remnant’s carriage drew up near the curb-stone, and Sophy’s mother put her head out of the window to speak to her intended son-in-law. “Good-bye, Alphonse; I will see you again soon,” said Tousky Wousky, endeavoring to shake off his unwelcome friend, and darting towards the carriage. Deflamzi followed him, and after permitting him to greet Mrs. Remnant, and receive from her some intelligence in regard to Sophia Ann, he pulled Tousky Wousky by the skirt, and said; “My dear fellow, this is really embarrassing. Why don’t you introduce me to the lady?” “Ahem! Blast the—Oh, yes—certainly—Mrs. Remnant, Count Deflamzi—Count Deflamzi, Mrs. Remnant.” “Glad to see you, old lady,” said Deflamzi; and then, at a loss for a remark to show his quality, he added—“What a devilish vulgar country this is of yours!” “An eccentric devil!” whispered Tousky Wousky in Mrs. Remnant’s ear; “who has a plenty of money and thinks he has a right to abuse every thing and every body.” “I am most happy, count, to make your acquaintance,” said Mrs. Remnant, quite overlooking the puppy’s impertinence in her delight at being seen conversing with a couple of counts in Broadway. “The pleasure of meeting Mrs. Remnant to-day is as unexpected as it is gratifying,” said Deflamzi. “I had intended asking my old friend Rufsky Fusky here, long since to introduce me, but—” “Rufsky Fusky!” “A nick-name, by which he used to call me when we were boys,” said poor Tousky Wousky hastily, and then, in an _aside_, he muttered to Deflamzi; “Curse you, Alphonse! I wish you would call me by my right name.” “What is it?” “Tousky Wousky.”