Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 4, October 1842Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 4, October 1842
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
Was Ernest in love with Mary Allison? Who can tell? surely he was too
unpresuming, too calm, too free from jealousy to be in love. Yet what
meant his eager watchfulness over her every look and word, his keen
perception of her every impulse, his deep devotion to her every wish? It
was most strange, and yet might not a warm fraternal affection for one
who had taken the place of his dead sister in his heart, account for all
his feelings? Such was Ernest’s belief, and if he deceived himself, his
was the punishment as well as the error.
One after another, the beautiful daughters of Mr. Allison were wedded,
until only Mary, the lovely Mary, whose very changefulness of temper
formed one of her brightest charms, alone was left. From her sixteenth
year Mary had received the homage of flattery and affection. Some had
wooed her for her fortune, some for her gayety, some for her
warm-heartedness, but all had alike been unsuccessful. When questioned
as to her motives for this indiscriminate coldness, she would only
laugh, and toss back her golden locks with a look of mischievous mirth
that seemed the index of a light and unfettered heart. Utterly free from
the coquetry which can deliberately win hearts but to wound them, she
yet loved admiration, and could seldom resist the temptation of making
herself agreeable. Indeed she could scarcely avoid making conquests, for
her usual sweetness of manner was sufficient of itself to attract all
who came within its influence. As Miss Edgeworth has beautifully
expressed it, “even from the benevolence of her own disposition she
derived the means of giving pain, as the bee is said to draw the venom
of its sting from its own honey.” Too sensitive for frivolous coquetry,
Mary was in far more danger from those sentimental flirtations which are
so fascinating to the romantic and the imaginative, and often so fatal
to the peace of those who indulge in them. Few women—I mean
warm-hearted, high-souled women—have escaped the influence of these
“opium dreams of too much youth and reading,” as they are contemptuously
called by the worldly and the cold. Few but have, at the early dawn of
womanhood, cherished a pure and passionless affection, which the world
may have sneered at as “Platonic,” and the prudent may have censured as
indiscreet, but which was a source of infinite happiness while it
endured, and which, perhaps, by the very anguish of its dissolution,
afforded the best of all discipline for the future trials of the heart.
Yet, like all other exquisite pleasures in this changing world, such joy
is only to be bought at the price of future pain. Rarely does such an
attachment terminate without suffering—rarely does that passionless
dream fade into the splendors of a brighter reality—rarely does the
heart awake from its trance of sublimated feeling to find loftier and
sweeter impulses in actual life and perfect love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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