Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXV, No. 3, September 1849Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXV, No. 3, September 1849
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
It was a clear, starry midnight,
one of those holy seasons when the earth is dark, and the atmosphere too
transparent to be luminous, when we look away into the clear ether, and
almost comprehend the immense distances to the bright distant disc of
the innumerable stars. I was sleepless, and stood at my casement looking
out upon earth and heaven. There was a knock at my door. I turned and
admitted the Lady Anna. Pale she was, as usual, but she seemed unusually
agitated. I besought her to be seated, and to honor me with her
commands.
“‘Godolphin,’ she said, solemnly, ‘tell me the name and title of the man
whom we saw seated beside the Princess L——?’
“‘Surely his name is no secret,’ I said; ‘all Europe knows him—he is
king of ——.’
“‘Swear this to me,’ she said.
“‘Poor lady,’ I ejaculated mentally, ‘she is deranged’—but I swore the
oath prescribed.
“‘Now listen,’ she continued; ‘this king, under an assumed name, sought
me in my seclusion, won my love—my _love_, I say,—and we were
privately married, more than two years ago. I need not repeat the
sophistries by which he persuaded me that he had imperious reasons for a
temporary concealment, reasons which I should one day know, and which I
must approve. My mother’s illness rendered it easy to elude her
suspicion, and when you came, we still kept our secret. He was generally
absent from Pisa, on pretence of business—but I saw him frequently. I
was expecting a visit from him daily when we met him on that fatal walk.
I have not seen him since, though he has implored an interview, if but
for five minutes. I will never see him more.’ And a wail of anguish,
which no words could utter, struggled up from her broken heart. I
essayed to speak. ‘No, no,’ she said, ‘I have not finished. I am dead to
the world. Let it be understood that I lie with my mother. Would to God
it were so, indeed. You will serve me. I know you will. Provide for me,
then, a retreat, where none who ever knew me may hear of me again. I
have contemplated death—suicide; but I will live to weep, and pray, and
suffer.’
“Oh, what words for my ear were these. I felt to thank heaven that the
darkness enabled me to hide my emotions from her, for my suffering was
terrible. I felt light and hope, earth and heaven, at once annihilated.
When she declared that she had loved another, my heart died within my
bosom. It has never since throbbed as it was wont to throb at every
thought of her. I no longer loved, but existence had become a void. The
fair temple of my youth, with its idol, and all its beautiful treasures,
was at once swept away, and the dark flood rolled sluggishly where my
joys had been. I felt, not agony, but desolation; not regret, but cold
despair. But I would live for her sake—she was miserable, and I could
assist her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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