Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXVII, No. 6, December 1850Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXVII, No. 6, December 1850
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“I cannot leave you forever, Duncan, I cannot go from your protecting
care, mother, without saying all that is in my heart. I have no strength
to look on you, my brother, again—mother, the union I had thought
between _us_ life-lasting, is broken. I cannot any longer be your
daughter. I would have done so, I would have remained in any capacity,
as a slave even, in your service, for I was bound by gratitude for all
you have done for me, to be with you always, at least, so long as you
should wish. If you had unveiled the mystery, and suffered me to stand
before you, recognizing myself as _you_ knew me, I would have stayed—I
would have been to you, Duncan, as in childhood, a proud, yet humble
sister, rejoicing in your triumphs—and a sharer in your sorrows. I
would have put fetters on my heart, and calmed my voice, and veiled my
eyes, the spirit dwelling in me should have been henceforth a stranger
to you. I would have borne to see another made your wife—but in a
mistaken kindness you put this utterly beyond my power. Too much has
been required—and, I am found—wanting! If even the most miserable fate
that can befall an innocent woman, if the curse of illegitimacy were
upon me, I could bear that thought even, and acknowledge _the_ justice
and wisdom that did not consider me fit to associate with those, whose
birth is recognized by a parent’s pride and fondness. But—I must be
cognizant of the relation, whatever it is, that I bear you. I cannot, I
will not consent to appear nominally your daughter, when you scorn to
receive me as such.
“Mother—in my dead mother’s name I thank you for the generous love you
have ever shown me—for the generous care with which you have attended
to the development of the talents God gave me. For I am fitted thus to
labor for myself. I thank you for that watchful providence that has made
me what I am, a woman self-reliant, and strong in spirit. I thank you
for it all, from a heart that has learned only to love and honor you in
the past eighteen years. And I call down the blessing of the Infinite
God upon you, as I depart. Hereafter, always it will be the endeavor of
my life to live worthily of you—to be all that you have in your charity
capacitated me to be. Duncan, you will not forget me—I do not ask it.
But, pray for me, and live up to the fullness of your heart and your
intellect. There is a happy future for you. I have no word of counsel,
no feeble utterance of encouragement to leave you—you will not need
such from _me_. God bless and strengthen you in every good word and
work—it shall be the constant hope of the sister who _loves_ you.
Mother, fare you well.”
This letter was written on that Sabbath-eve, on which our story
opens—written in a perfect passion, yes, of grief, and of despair. The
anger that Rosalie may at first have felt, gave way to the wildest
sorrow now, but her resolution was taken, and her heart was really
strung to bear the resolution out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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