Gray youth: The story of a very modern courtship and a very modern marriageOnions, Oliver
General
Gray youth: The story of a very modern courtship and a very modern marriage
Onions, Oliver
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Social and moral questions -- Fiction
And lest she should be mistaken in the mighty changes that were going
on within herself, at first she had tried the painting again. Her
tubes were dry and her brushes hard, but she had got new ones, and one
after another she had taken up her old half-finished canvases again. A
single glance at them had filled her with astonishment at the leagues
of progress, mental and emotional, that she had made since then. She
had laughed almost insultingly at those former attempts. That large
canvas on the "_Triumph of Humane Government_" was positively frigid!
And Edgar had liked it!... Well, that only showed what a power she now
had over Edgar if she only cared to use it. If he had liked that chilly
piece of classicism, he would stand dumb before the canvas that every
faculty in her was now straining to paint. She began to think that
canvas out....
It must be Eastern, of course; nay, it must be The East--tremendously
voluptuous and so on. She would paint it over the "_Triumph_." It
should be bathed in a sunrise, rabidly yellow (they had no time for
decaying mellowness in those vast and kindling lands to which Amory's
inner eye was turned)--and of course there ought to be a many-breasted
what-was-her-name in it, the goddess (rather rank, perhaps, but that
was the idea, a smack at effete occidental politeness). And there ought
to be a two-breasted figure as well, perhaps with a cord or something
in her hand, hauling up the curtain of night, or at any rate showing in
some way or other that her superb beauty was actually responsible for
the yellow sunrise....
And above all, she must get _herself_ into it--the whole of herself--all
that tremendous continent that Cosimo had not had, that her children
had not had, that her former painting had left unexpressed, that
politics had not brought out of her....
The result of that experiment was remarkable. Two days later she had
thrown the painting aside again. It was a ghastly failure. But only for
a moment did that depress her; the next moment she had seen further.
She was a Genius; she knew it--felt it; she was so sure about it that
she would never have dreamed of arguing about it; she had such thoughts
sometimes.... And Genius could never be suppressed. Very well; the
Eastern canvas was a total failure; she admitted it. Ergo, her Genius
was for something else than painting.
That was all she had wanted to know.
For what, then? No doubt Edgar Strong, who had enlightened her about
herself before, would be able to enlighten her again now. And if he
would not come to see her, she must go and see him. But already she saw
the answer shining brightly ahead. She must pant, not paint; live, not
limn. Her Genius was, after all, for Love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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