Daily Le ffacase became a sterner taskmaster, a more pettishly exacting
employer. By the living guts of William Lloyd Garrison, he raged, had no
one ever driven the simple elements of punctuation into my bloody head?
Had no schoolmaster in moments of heroic enthusiasm attempted to pound a
few rules of rhetoric through my incrassate skull? Had I never heard of
taste? Was the word "style" outside my macilent vocabulary? What the
devil did I mean by standing there with my mouth open, exposing my
unfortunate teeth for all the world to see? Was it possible for any
allegedly human to be as addlepated as I? And had I been thrust from my
mother's womb--I suppress his horrible adjectives--only to torment and
afflict his longsuffering editorial patience?
A hundred times I was tempted to sever my connection with this
journalistic autocrat. My column was widely read and two
publishinghouses had approached me with the idea of putting out a book,
any editorial revision and emendations to be taken care of by them
without disturbing me at all. I could have allied myself with almost any
paper in the country, undoubtedly at better than the meager stipend Le
ffacase doled out to me.
But I think loyalty is one of the most admirable of virtues and it was
not in my nature to desert the _Intelligencer_--certainly not till I
could secure a lengthy and ironclad contract, such as for some reason
other papers seemed unwilling to offer me. In accord with this innate
loyalty of mine--I take no credit for it, I was born that way--I did not
balk at the assignments given me though they ranged from the hazardous
to the absurd.
One of the more pleasant of these excursions thought up by Mr Le
ffacase was to fly over the grass and to Catalina, embark on a chartered
boat there and survey the parts of the coast now overrun. A fresh point
of observation. Accompanying me was the moviecameraman, Rafe Slafe, as
uncommunicative and earnest in his medications as before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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