Grey Wethers: A Romantic NovelSackville-West, V. (Victoria)
General
Grey Wethers: A Romantic Novel
Sackville-West, V. (Victoria)
Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Romance fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
And then she had been astonished to find how gentle he could be towards
her. It was true that he was stern in his injunctions,--no tales of his
house to be carried about the village, he said, and poor Daisy saw her
one consolation evaporate,--but in his personal dealings with her he
was uniformly gentle. Distant always, never relaxing, never easy; but
kind with a kindness that wrung the very heart of her love for him. It
was as though he pitied her, and was kind to her as he would have been
to an animal; although she thought bitterly, there would have been more
of love and less of duty in his kindness towards the meanest animal.
She could not cajole herself with the idea that anything but duty lay
beneath his kindness to her. He was equally gentle, she observed, with
his brother Olver, and with his mother, never betraying by any sign
his repulsion or his impatience; and Daisy thought sometimes with
terror that she herself might be as repulsive to him as the old woman
must surely be, but never would she know it, for he would never allow
it to appear. And at moments, loving him, she could forget herself
sufficiently to be sorry for him in his loneliness and his unrelaxing
self-command.
She began to know the full significance of suffering. Before very
long she was suffering, in her blind, ignorant way, down to the bone.
For discomfort she had bargained; for a hard life of work, since she
knew that the business of keeping the house and its three inmates
would after her marriage devolve upon her, she had bargained also;
for Lovel’s severity she had bargained, and with an obscure sense
of justice and fair play she had been prepared to accept without
complaint these things that she was voluntarily bringing upon herself
as the price of securing Lovel for her own, for her husband; but for
the torment of his kindness and his proximity she had not bargained.
The work she had envisaged with a practical eye; that was within the
reach of her capacity, but the emotional problem had altogether eluded
her anticipation. She had thought, if she thought at all, that once
she had got Lovel safely over that ticklish business of marriage, she
would have consummated her supreme ambition. She had not understood
that then and then only would her problem truly begin. It had been
easy, pitifully easy, to trick Lovel into marriage, easy to play upon
the double string of his dejection and his sense of honour; he had
allowed himself to be conducted through preliminaries and ceremony
alike with the same cold, trance-like indifference; that had been easy
for her; but how to dig through to the man beneath that blameless mask?
“Nicholas, will you take me to Bath some day, anywhen you’ve time?
I’ve never seen a bigger town than Marlborough,” and he would answer,
kindly, always kindly, but like a man who might well be dead before the
day for going to Bath arrived, “I’ll take you to Bath, my dear,” and
she would sidle up to him and say, “That’ll be a treat for you too,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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