Grey Wethers: A Romantic NovelSackville-West, V. (Victoria)
General
Grey Wethers: A Romantic Novel
Sackville-West, V. (Victoria)
Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Romance fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
Now that she was confronted with him, a little of her self-confidence
went; he had, for a long fortnight now, inhabited her mind only, and
her vision not at all; and in her mind their meeting had run always
on the lines she devised for it, but here she had Lovel himself of
untested inflexibility, to trip the running of her programme. She gazed
at him beseechingly, but he still stood, in an attitude of expectant
resignation, waiting for her to open the attack. It came into her mind
that even now she might turn away, without a word spoken, having learnt
all that there was to be learnt from a single look. Instead, she went
up to him, saying “Lovel?” and upon an impulse she held out her hand.
He remained unmoved, examining her with a sort of abstracted interest.
She thought that she had never seen him so much like an animal,
pausing even while poised for flight, and a despair overcame her when
she remembered her own conceit that she could tame and bring to heel
again a creature so wild. She was ashamed when she remembered that she
had pitied him, had assumed that he must be unhappy, had smiled to
herself when she thought of keeping up his pretence of temper like a
sulky child. That smile had had in it much that was tender, much that
was maternal; had she then forgotten Lovel, or had her imagination
so metamorphosed his image, that she could have persuaded herself of
his need for tenderness, tolerance, or pity? He had need for none of
those soft things; she had been mistaken in thinking that he in any way
needed her; he needed no one; he stood alone. Nevertheless, she would
not retreat without some struggle; he might, still, prove to be no
worse than angry and hurt; if he insisted on remaining so, it should,
at least, not be owing to a lack of good-will on her part. “Lovel,” she
said, “Lovel, have I offended you in any way? See, I have come here
deliberately to ask you and to say that I am sorry for whatever I may
have done; how can I say more?”
Still he did not reply, but turned his head slightly and uneasily as
though looking for escape. He still had that air of being poised in
the clearing of the trees, alienating him from her as if she had come
upon him in the midst of some secret rite which he only awaited her
departure to resume. She felt inclined to cry out, “We were so close
to one another, once!” and the pain of the loss stabbed her sharply,
but instead she pleaded again with him, “Lovel, if you would only
speak to me we could put this misunderstanding right.” Where was the
smile she had so confidently hoped to startle into his eyes? He had
never shown himself so aloof or so forbidding; she felt herself small,
insignificant, and importunate; if she had found him in the open, she
thought, he would have been more vulnerable, but here among the trees
he seemed curiously protected.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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