In the afternoon Lord Curryfin went down to the pavilion. She was not
there. He wandered about the grounds in all directions, and returned
several times to the pavilion, always in vain. At last he sat down in
the pavilion, and fell into a meditation. He asked himself how it could
be, that having begun by making love to Miss Gryll, having, indeed,
gone too far to recede unless the young lady absolved him, he was now
evidently in a transition state towards a more absorbing and violent
passion, for a person who, with all her frankness, was incomprehensible,
and whose snowy exterior seemed to cover a volcanic fire, which she
struggled to repress, and was angry with herself when she did not
thoroughly succeed in so doing. If he were quite free he would do his
part towards the solution of the mystery, by making a direct and formal
proposal to her. As a preliminary to this, he might press Miss Gryll
for an answer. All he had yet obtained from her was, 'Wait till we are
better acquainted.' He was in a dilemma between Morgana and Melpomene.
It had not entered into his thoughts that Morgana was in love with him;
but he thought it nevertheless very probable that she was in a fair
way to become so, and that even as it was she liked him well enough to
accept him. On the other hand, he could not divest himself of the idea
that Melpomene was in love with him. It was true, all the sympathy she
had yet shown might have arisen from the excitement of strong feelings,
at the real or supposed peril of a person with whom she was in the
habit of daily intercourse. It might be so. Still, the sympathy was very
impassioned; though, but for his rashness in self-exposure to danger, he
might never have known it. A few days ago, he would not press Miss Gryll
for an answer, because he feared it might be a negative. Now he would
not, because he was at least not in haste for an affirmative. But
supposing it were a negative, what certainty had he that a negative from
Morgana would not be followed by a negative from Melpomene? Then his
heart would be at sea without rudder or compass. We shall leave him
awhile to the contemplation of his perplexities.
As his thoughts were divided, so were Morgana's. If Mr. Falconer should
propose to her, she felt she could accept him without hesitation. She
saw clearly the tendency of his feelings towards her. She saw, at the
same time, that he strove to the utmost against them in behalf of his
old associations, though, with all his endeavours, he could not suppress
them in her presence. So there was the lover who did not propose, and
who would have been preferred; and there was the lover who had proposed,
and who, if it had been clear that the former chance was hopeless, would
not have been lightly given up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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