"Overcome with sorrow, my father retired from the army, and took me to
live in a gloomy old house in the Njazlov at Warsaw. While we were
leading a somewhat secluded existence the revolutionary movement sprang
up in Poland; the people commenced their struggle for freedom, and the
propaganda took root with alarming rapidity. My father, a loyal subject
of the Czar, believed that his warmest friend, Serge Orselska, held
views similar to his own, but, as I afterwards discovered, he was
mistaken. This half-brother was a scheming scoundrel, who having allied
himself with the Terrorists, determined upon making it a lucrative
business by becoming a police spy, so that he could give secret
information regarding the conspirators. In this he had more than one
object in view. My father had occasion to travel to Petersburg on
business connected with his estate, and remained there several weeks.
On the day following his return to Warsaw the grand _coup_ was made, and
the Czar was assassinated by a bomb thrown at his sleigh. The world was
convulsed. My father, honest loyalist that he was, regarded this action
of the Nihilists most unfavourably.
"Yet as soon as Alexander the Third had succeeded the dead Emperor my
poor father was arrested, conveyed to Petersburg, and charged with being
implicated in the assassination! Though the accusation was utterly
unfounded, the perjured evidence was much against him. He was found
guilty, and condemned to Siberian hard labour for life. I was in Court
and heard sentence pronounced. Ah! _Grand Dieu_! Shall I ever forget
that day?
"He was despatched with a convoy of prisoners to Asia, but on the way
endeavoured to escape, and was shot dead. It was the new Czar who was
responsible for my beloved father's death; he was his murderer! and I
swore it should be avenged, even if my own life were sacrificed in the
attempt. Then I went to live under the guardianship of Serge Orselska,
who, hearing my vow, admitted that he was a Nihilist, and persuaded me
to take the oath to the Executive. I did so, and, confident of success,
swore that I would make three attempts to remove the Autocrat of the
Russias, adding, as a stipulation, that if none were successful the oath
should be removed. Thus I developed into an enthusiastic and patriotic
Terrorist. Bent upon avenging my father's wrongs, I was prepared to go
to any length, and to follow the examples of Jessy Helfman and Sophia
Perovskaia in order to accomplish my object."
"Fancy, you--a Nihilist!" I said, incredulously in abject astonishment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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