"Ah, my rose," he said tenderly. "Why will you droop? Why will you care
about people who cannot matter to us? My own Pauline, can't you see that
I called in a third person because I dare not trust myself now. All the
day long, all the night long you are my care. I'm so dreadfully anxious
to justify myself: I long for assurance at every step: once I was
self-confident, but I can't be self-confident any longer. Success is no
responsibility in itself, but now...."
"It's my responsibility," cried Pauline melting to him. "Oh, forgive me
for being jealous. Darling boy, it's just my foolish ignorance that
makes me jealous of some one who can give you more than I."
"But no one can!" he vowed. "I only asked Michael's advice because you
are too kind a judge. My success is of such desperate importance to us
two. What would it have mattered before I met you? Now my failure would
... oh, Pauline, failure is too horrible to think of."
"As if you could fail," she chided gently. "And if you did fail, I would
almost be glad, because I would love you all the more."
"Pauline, would you?"
"Ah, no I wouldn't," she whispered. "Because I could not love you more
that I do now."
The dog with a sigh dropped his stick: he was become accustomed to these
interludes.
"Bob gives us up as hopeless," Guy laughed.
"I'm not a bit sympathetic, you jealous dog," she said. "Because you
have your master all day long."
The next time Guy came to the Rectory, he brought with him the
manuscript, so that Pauline could seal it for luck; and they sat in the
nursery, while Guy for the last enumeration turned over the pages one by
one.
"It represents so much," he said, "and it looks so little. My father
will be rather surprized. I told him I should wait another year. I
wonder if I ought to have waited."
"Oh, no," said Pauline. "Everything else is waiting and waiting. It
makes me so happy to think of these pages flying away like birds."
"I hope they won't be like homing pigeons," said Guy. "It will be rather
a blow if William Worrall rejects them."
"Oh, but how could he be so foolish."
"I don't think he will really," said Guy. "After all, a good many people
have endorsed the first half, and I'm positive that what I've written
here is better than that. I rather wish I'd finished the Eclogues
though. Do you think perhaps I'd better wait after all?"
"Oh, no, Guy, don't wait."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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