_Why haven't you been to see me this morning? Why weren't you in
the orchard? I stayed such a long while in the churchyard, but you
never came. If I said anything yesterday that hurt your feelings,
forgive me. You mustn't think that I was angry with you because
perhaps I spoke angrily. Darling, darling Guy, I adore you so, and
nothing else but you matters to my happiness. I should not have
spoken about religion--I don't know how we came to argue about it.
It was unkind of me to be depressed and sad when my dearest was
sad. Truly, truly I am so anxious about your poems only because I
want you to be happy. Sometimes I must seem selfish, but you know
that before anything it is your work I think of. I'm not really a
bit worried about our being married. I have these fits of
depression which are really very wrong. I'm not worried about
anything really, only I had a dream about you last month which
frightened me. Oh, Guy, come this afternoon and tell me you're not
angry. I promise you that I won't make you miserable with my stupid
depression. Guy, if I could only tell you how I love you. If you
only knew how never, never for an instant do I care for anything
but your happiness. You don't really want me to give up believing
in anything do you? It doesn't really make you angry, does it? Come
and tell me this afternoon that you've forgiven_
_Your
Pauline._
_I love you. I love you._
Gently the daffodils swayed in this light breeze of dying March, and the
grass was already tall enough to sigh forth its transitory summer tune.
Guy in a flood of penitence hastened at once to the Rectory to accuse
himself to Pauline, and when he saw her watching for him at the nursery
window he had no regrets that could stab to wound him as deeply as he
deserved to be wounded. She was very tender and still that afternoon,
and as he held her in his arms there seemed to him nothing more worth
while in life than her cherishing. For them sitting in that nursery the
hours swung lazily to and fro in felicity, and all the time there was
nobody to disturb the reconciliation. They talked only of the future and
allowed recent despairs and foreboding agitations to slink away
disgraced. Janet, coming to take away the tea-things, beamed at their
happiness and through a filigree of bare jasmine twigs the slanting sun
touched with new life the faded wall-paper, opening wider, it seemed,
the daisies' eyes, mellowing the berries and tinting the birds with
brighter plumes for their immutable and immemorial courtship.
Plunged deep in such a peace Guy prompted by damnable discord asked idly
what had been that dream of which Pauline had spoken in her letter. She
was unwilling for a long while to tell him, but he spurred on by
mischief itself persuaded her in the end and she recounted that
experience of waking to find herself prone upon the floor of her room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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