At first the letter only presented itself to his imagination as an easy
way of punishing Pauline's hysteria. It seemed to him the very weapon
that was wanted to 'give her a lesson,' and after dinner he went across
to the Rectory and announced his news in front of everybody, asking
everybody if they did not think he ought to go and talking
enthusiastically of oriental adventure until quite late. He sternly
refused to allow himself a moment alone with Pauline in which to talk
over the plan; and, even when they were left alone together in the hall
he kissed her good-night hurriedly and silently and rather guiltily.
When Guy was back at home and thought about his behaviour, he began to
wonder if he had committed himself to Persia too finally. The prospect,
except so far as it would affect Pauline, had not really sunk into his
mind yet, but now as he read the letter over he began to think that he
really would like to go. It might mean a separation of two years but it
would reconcile him to his father and it would assure his marriage at
the end of the time. Persia might easily be almost as interesting as it
sounded, and how remote from debts looked Baghdad. If last year he had
been able practically to settle to be a schoolmaster, how much more
easily could this resolution be taken. Dreamily he let his imagination
play round the notion of Persia, dreamily and rather pleasantly it would
solve so many difficulties and it held the promise of so much active
romance.
Next morning Mrs. Grey sent round to ask if Guy would come to lunch
early enough to have a talk with her first.
"Yes ... charming.... I really wanted us to have a little talk
together," she said in nervous welcome, as she led the way to her own
sitting-room that with its red lacquer and its screen painted with birds
of paradise hid itself away in a corner of the house. Ordinarily Guy
would have accepted it as a sign of the highest favour to be brought to
her small room, but this morning it seemed to imprison him.
"Yes ... charming ... a little talk," said Mrs. Grey; and Guy while he
waited for her to begin, watched the mandarins that moved in absurd
reduplications all about her armchair's faded green pattern.
"Of course it was rather a surprize to us all last night ... yes ... I
expect it was a surprize to you. And you really think you ought to go?"
"I'm getting rather discouraged about poetry," Guy confessed. "I'm
beginning to think that what I've written isn't much good and that if I
am ever going to write anything worth while, it will be because I've
learnt to be less self-conscious about it. If I went to Persia with Sir
George Gascony I should probably be kept fairly busy and if there was
any poetry left in me after that, well, it might be good stuff."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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