He must somehow heal
the injury he had inflicted upon her youth.
Pauline was very gentle when they met. She had no reproaches except for
herself and the way she had frightened him.
"Oh, my Pauline, can't you forget it?" he begged. "Let me go away for a
month or more. Let me go away till Margaret and Richard are going to be
married."
She acquiesced half-listlessly, and then seeming to feel that she might
have been cold in her manner, she wished him a happy holiday from her
moods and jealousy and exacting love. He tried to pierce the true
significance of her attitude, because it held in its heart a premonition
for him that everything between them had been destroyed last night, and
that henceforth whatever he or she did or said they would meet in the
future only as ghosts may meet in shadowy converse and meaningless
communion.
"You will be glad to see me when I come back?" he asked.
"Why, my dearest, of course I shall be glad."
He kissed her good-bye, but her kiss was neither the kiss of lover nor
of sister, but such a kiss as ghosts may use, seeking to perpetuate the
mere form and outward semblance of life lost irrevocably.
When Guy was driving with Godbold along the Shipcot road, he had not
made up his mind where he would go, and it was on the spur of the
moment, as he stood in the booking-office, that he decided to go and see
his father, to whom latterly he had written scarcely at all and of whom
he suddenly thought with affection.
"I've settled to give up Plashers Mead," Guy told him that night, when
they were sitting in the library at Fox Hall.
"And try and get on the staff of a paper," he added to his father's
faint bow. "Or possibly I may go to Persia as Sir George Gascony's
secretary. My friend Comeragh got me the offer in March, but Sir George
was ill and did not start."
"That sounds much more sensible than journalism," said Mr. Hazlewood.
"Yes, perhaps it would be better," Guy agreed. "But then of course there
is the question of leaving Pauline for two years."
Yet even as he enunciated this so solemnly, he knew in his heart that he
would be rather glad to postpone for two years all the vexations of
love.
His father shrugged his shoulders.
"My poems are coming out this Autumn," Guy volunteered.
His father gave some answer of conventional approbation, and Guy without
the least bitterness recognized that to his father the offer of the
secretaryship had naturally presented itself as the more important
occasion.
"If you want any help with your outfit...."
"Oh, you mustn't count on Persia," interrupted Guy. "But I'll go up to
town to-morrow and ask Comeragh when Sir George is going."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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