'How shall I communicate what I have now to tell! My hand and heart
still flutter so much, that the task of writing is almost impossible!
Did I not say that he lived? did I not say I would not despair? How
could you suggest, my dear Matilda, that my feelings, considering I had
parted from him so young, rather arose from the warmth of my
imagination than of my heart? O I was sure that they were genuine,
deceitful as the dictates of our bosom so frequently are. But to my
tale--let it be, my friend, the most sacred, as it is the most sincere,
pledge of our friendship.
'Our hours here are early--earlier than my heart, with its load of
care, can compose itself to rest. I therefore usually take a book for
an hour or two after retiring to my own room, which I think I have told
you opens to a small balcony, looking down upon that beautiful lake of
which I attempted to give you a slight sketch. Mervyn Hall, being
partly an ancient building, and constructed with a view to defence, is
situated on the verge of the lake. A stone dropped from the projecting
balcony plunges into water deep enough to float a skiff. I had left my
window partly unbarred, that, before I went to bed, I might, according
to my custom, look out and see the moonlight shining upon the lake. I
was deeply engaged with that beautiful scene in the "Merchant of
Venice" where two lovers, describing the stillness of a summer night,
enhance on each other its charms, and was lost in the associations of
story and of feeling which it awakens, when I heard upon the lake the
sound of a flageolet. I have told you it was Brown's favourite
instrument. Who could touch it in a night which, though still and
serene, was too cold, and too late in the year, to invite forth any
wanderer for mere pleasure? I drew yet nearer the window, and hearkened
with breathless attention; the sounds paused a space, were then
resumed, paused again, and again reached my ear, ever coming nearer and
nearer. At length I distinguished plainly that little Hindu air which
you called my favourite. I have told you by whom it was taught me; the
instrument, the tones, were his own! Was it earthly music, or notes
passing on the wind, to warn me of his death?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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