'I protest to you, Delaserre, I often think there is a little
contradiction enters into the ardour of my pursuit. I think I would
rather bring this haughty insulting man to the necessity of calling his
daughter Mrs. Brown than I would wed her with his full consent, and
with the King's permission to change my name for the style and arms of
Mannering, though his whole fortune went with them. There is only one
circumstance that chills me a little: Julia is young and romantic. I
would not willingly hurry her into a step which her riper years might
disapprove; no--nor would I like to have her upbraid me, were it but
with a glance of her eye, with having ruined her fortunes, far less
give her reason to say, as some have not been slow to tell their lords,
that, had I left her time for consideration, she would have been wiser
and done better. No, Delaserre, this must not be. The picture presses
close upon me, because I am aware a girl in Julia's situation has no
distinct and precise idea of the value of the sacrifice she makes. She
knows difficulties only by name; and, if she thinks of love and a farm,
it is a ferme ornee, such as is only to be found in poetic description
or in the park of a gentleman of twelve thousand a year. She would be
ill prepared for the privations of that real Swiss cottage we have so
often talked of, and for the difficulties which must necessarily
surround us even before we attained that haven. This must be a point
clearly ascertained. Although Julia's beauty and playful tenderness
have made an impression on my heart never to be erased, I must be
satisfied that she perfectly understands the advantages she foregoes
before she sacrifices them for my sake.
'Am I too proud, Delaserre, when I trust that even this trial may
terminate favourably to my wishes? Am I too vain when I suppose that
the few personal qualities which I possess, with means of competence,
however moderate, and the determination of consecrating my life to her
happiness, may make amends for all I must call upon her to forego? Or
will a difference of dress, of attendance, of style, as it is called,
of the power of shifting at pleasure the scenes in which she seeks
amusement--will these outweigh in her estimation the prospect of
domestic happiness and the interchange of unabating affection? I say
nothing of her father: his good and evil qualities are so strangely
mingled that the former are neutralised by the latter; and that which
she must regret as a daughter is so much blended with what she would
gladly escape from, that I place the separation of the father and child
as a circumstance which weighs little in her remarkable case. Meantime
I keep up my spirits as I may. I have incurred too many hardships and
difficulties to be presumptuous or confident in success, and I have
been too often and too wonderfully extricated from them to be
despondent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account