‘Anything you choose,’ replied the lawyer. ‘Is it my business to make
lies for you, do you think? But let her be in praesentia by eight
o’clock, as I have said before.’ The clerk grinned, made his reverence,
and exit.
‘That’s a useful fellow,’ said the Counsellor; ‘I don’t believe his match
ever carried a process. He’ll write to my dictating three nights in the
week without sleep, or, what’s the same thing, he writes as well and
correctly when he’s asleep as when he’s awake. Then he’s such a steady
fellow; some of them are always changing their ale-houses, so that they
have twenty cadies sweating after them, like the bare-headed captains
traversing the taverns of Eastcheap in search of Sir John Falstaff. But
this is a complete fixture; he has his winter seat by the fire and his
summer seat by the window in Luckie Wood’s, betwixt which seats are his
only migrations; there he’s to be found at all times when he is off duty.
It is my opinion he never puts off his clothes or goes to sleep; sheer
ale supports him under everything. It is meat, drink, and cloth, bed,
board, and washing.’
‘And is he always fit for duty upon a sudden turnout? I should distrust
it, considering his quarters.’
‘O, drink, never disturbs him, Colonel; he can write for hours after he
cannot speak. I remember being called suddenly to draw an appeal case. I
had been dining, and it was Saturday night, and I had ill will to begin
to it; however, they got me down to Clerihugh’s, and there we sat birling
till I had a fair tappit hen [Footnote: See Note 2.] under my belt, and
then they persuaded me to draw the paper. Then we had to seek Driver, and
it was all that two men could do to bear him in, for, when found, he was,
as it happened, both motionless and speechless. But no sooner was his pen
put between his fingers, his paper stretched before him, and he heard my
voice, than he began to write like a scrivener; and, excepting that we
were obliged to have somebody to dip his pen in the ink, for he could not
see the standish, I never saw a thing scrolled more handsomely.’
‘But how did your joint production look the next morning?’ said the
Colonel.
‘Wheugh! capital! not three words required to be altered: [Footnote: See
Note 3. ] it was sent off by that day’s post. But you’ll come and
breakfast with me to-morrow, and hear this woman’s examination?’
‘Why, your hour is rather early.’
‘Can’t make it later. If I were not on the boards of the Outer House
precisely as the nine-hours’ bell rings, there would be a report that I
had got an apoplexy, and I should feel the effects of it all the rest of
the session.’
‘Well, I will make an exertion to wait upon you.’
Here the company broke up for the evening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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