Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
H. R. promptly stopped reading the letters and told one of his
stenographers, "Reply to all telephone inquiries that the personnel of
the commission has not yet been definitely decided upon."
The three highest-salaried chefs in New York, their emoluments duly
quadrupled by the reporters after eating sample ideal luncheons, the
three best restaurateurs, and the three leading experts on stomachic
functions had their names printed as "Probable Public Menu Commission"
by the afternoon prints.
Doubtless in order not to be accused of plagiarism each afternoon paper
published a different set of names. Tentative menus also were given, to
be repudiated by H. R. and by indignant competitors in the next
morning's papers.
That is how, in its glorious march to charity, all New York began to
take an interest in menus. It was the first symptom of an awakened civic
conscience and intelligent humanitarianism. "Tell me what you eat and I
will tell you what you are," long ago observed Brillat-Savarin. H. R.
wrote it for the reporters. It furnished the text for learned editorial
sermons.
When Andrew Barrett ventured to express his admiration, H. R. murmured:
"Plausible, persistent, and picturesque."
"I don't quite get you," said Barrett.
"Watch me and learn," retorted H. R.
Other men have disregarded persistence, but H. R. did not. He kept up
the firing; no broadside, but one big gun at a time--once a day. As a
result, the H. R. plan for feeding the hungry of New York assumed a
serious aspect. The right bill of fare would change potential Socialists
into sensible citizens. This was so obviously true that everybody said
no living man could do it. But everybody anxiously looked for the
publication of the Public Menu Commission's report. It thus became news
plus suspense.
The moment H. R. had selected the personnel of the commission he went to
the Goodchild house.
"Frederick, tell Miss Goodchild to come down at once. I have only a
minute to stay. Make haste!"
The imperturbable English menial actually ran.
Grace rushed down in alarm. Frederick's incoherent words had made her
fear it was a message from her dressmaker telling why it was absolutely
impossible to have it ready in time as promised under oath.
She petrified herself when she beheld the man who had made her famous.
She did this in order not to betray her glad relief.
"Oh!"
"Grace!" exclaimed H. R., fervently. He quickly approached her, took her
hand and led her into her own drawing-room. He then waved his disengaged
left at all the chairs with an air that said, "I give all this
magnificence to you!" He waved again and commanded, "Sit down!"
She obeyed, but he did not let go her right hand. He sat beside her.
Just as she was about to pull it away indignantly he patted it twice
very kindly and himself laid it on her own lap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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