Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
"It was a coupon that entitled anybody who held it to answer the
question and get ten thousand dollars. It was part of a ticket for
which the holder paid twenty-five cents to feed a starving fellow-being.
But what I wish you to do is to assure the reporters that it was a
legitimate question. The word is _Anima_."
"I knew it."
"Because you use it every day."
"But your condition--"
"New York's condition, your Eminence," corrected H. R., politely. "I
said the synonym, _soul_, would answer. Nobody won the ten thousand
dollars. New York will cudgel its brains because it did not win the ten
thousand dollars. In searching for the missing word it may find
something more precious--the missing _soul_."
"Your way is not our way, but perhaps--" The Cardinal was silent, his
kindly eyes meditatively bent on H. R.
"The reporters, your Eminence--" began H. R., apologetically.
"Ah yes!" And the white-haired prelate accompanied H. R. to the room
where the reporters were waiting.
"I have heard Mr. Rutgers's question. The word of five letters beginning
with an 'A' I think answers it, from his point of view, which is not
unreasonable. I cannot say that the inability to guess proves the
non-possession of brains--"
"The Cardinal knew at once," put in H. R.
"But that nobody should have guessed is astonishing."
"They were not all Christians," explained H. R.
"What is the answer?" asked a reporter.
"A word of five letters beginning with 'A,'" said H. R.
"Can't we publish it?"
"It is our secret now. New York is very rich. When it discovers that one
word--or its synonym of four letters--it will be infinitely richer in
every way."
The reporters brightened up. They saw columns and columns of guesses.
But the Cardinal looked thoughtful. Then he said to H. R.:
"Come and see me again."
"Thank you. I will, your Eminence."
The Cardinal bowed his head gravely and H. R. and the newspaper men
left.
"Are you a Catholic?" the _World_ man asked.
"No," answered H. R., doubtfully.
"All roads lead to Rome," interrupted Lubin, with a sneer.
"Excepting one, Lubin," said H. R., pleasantly. "Keep on going, my boy.
It's nice and warm there."
XXV
The newspapers did nobly. Too many prominent names were involved for
them not to print the news. There was an opportunity for using real
humor and impressive statistics in describing the new labor-saving
machinery. The marvelous efficiency of H. R. as a practical
philanthropist, demonstrated by his elimination of people who had money
with which to buy food, and the simple but amazing efficacy of his
Thirst-Detector raised the story to the realm of pure literature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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