Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
"I have come to show you how you may save the amount I have mentioned in
your newspaper-advertising appropriation. You big advertisers are now
helpless to help yourself. There are no rebates and you can't play one
paper against the others. Those days are over. Will you hear me to the
end and not go on at half-cock while I am talking?"
"Yes," promised Mr. Liebmann, impetuously.
"Mr. Liebmann, you must write a letter to all the advertising managers
of all the newspapers, saying that you have decided to discontinue all
advertising in the daily papers as soon as your contracts expire. Hold
your horses! Explain that you intend to reach your suburban trade
through the fashion magazines, local papers, and circulars, and that for
Manhattan and Brooklyn you have decided to use sandwiches--Don't talk
yet!"
"I am only listening," Mr. Liebmann hastened to assure him.
"The newspapers know that you are a Napoleonic advertiser. They will pay
to your communication the double compliment of belief and consternation.
They know you know your business and that you are not only ultra-modern,
but a pioneer. You have always been a highly intelligent advertiser. You
will then let me supply you with one hundred of our best men, who will
parade in front of the newspaper-offices in full regalia, and also in
plain sight of your dear friends, the advertising managers. You know
their psychology. Take it from me, you'll win.
"The only thing you mustn't do is to call the reductions rebates. There
is no way by which the papers can get back at you. If I can make New
York feed the hungry, would it be very difficult for me to make the
advertising managers act wisely? Of course, if your letter does not
bring about a saving of not less than ten thousand dollars a year you
will not have to pay a penny for the sandwiches. I wish nothing written
from you. The word of a Liebmann is enough for a Rutgers. My family has
been in New York long enough for you to know whether a Rutgers is a man
of his word or not."
"I'd rather shake hands with you than save a million a year in
advertising," said Mr. Liebmann.
H. R. looked him straight in the eye--suspiciously, incredulously,
insultingly. Mr. Liebmann flushed and then H. R. said, earnestly:
"I believe you, Mr. Liebmann!" and shook hands.
Mr. Liebmann, bareheaded, proudly escorted him to the sidewalk. He
thanked H. R. to the last.
H. R. called on the other liberal advertisers and, with more or less
ease, succeeded in impressing them as he had Mr. Liebmann.
Then he visited the managing editors of all the daily papers. He began
with the best. The managing editor was delighted to see the man he had
helped to make famous.
"I have come," H. R. told him, "to ask a great favor of you. I am, as
you know, very greatly interested in charity work. Your paper has been
good enough to publish my views."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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