Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
The dinner at Mrs. Vandergilt's home was H. R.'s initial social triumph.
The first thing he did was to confess to Mrs. Vandergilt that what he
desired above all things was to be her military secretary. All he asked
was to serve the Cause so long as she led, and no longer.
"I hate failures," he told her. "I don't propose to be identified with
any. If I did not see in you what I do I should not be here. I know
creative genius when I see it. You paint the picture. I am only the
frame-maker--necessary, but not among the immortals."
"You are more than that," she assured him, with a smile. He shook his
head.
"I can fool the rabble; but you know the trick! Organize your personal
staff. Fire them with your own enthusiasm. Of course they won't all have
brains; but they will do to stop gaps and follow instructions."
And Mrs. Vandergilt, in order that all might know that great minds
acknowledged a greater mind, cracked up H. R. to the sky. H. R.'s
success was all the greater since he made a point of declining most
invitations. He was seen only where most people wished to be seen. That
made him talked about.
Grace heard about his stupendous social success. Since the demand for
H. R.'s presence came from her social equals, he was at last a desirable
possession. She stayed away from Jerry's in a mood of anger that
naturally made it impossible for her to stop thinking of H. R.
Meantime H. R. regularly, every day, sent a complete file of newspapers
to the Goodchild residence. By his orders the Public Sentiment Corps
bombarded the editors with requests for information as to the Society of
American Sandwich Artists, and of sandwiching in general. He prepared
learned and withal highly interesting articles on sandwiches, their
history and development. He suggested over divers signatures that all
court notices should be brought to the public's notice by sandwiches,
thereby getting nearer to the picturesque town-crier of our sainted
forefathers.
Not a single communication was printed. The department stores were
holding out for lower advertising rates. Many of the letters asked
questions about H. R. in his capacity as the greatest living authority
on sandwiches. These, also, were ignored. On the other hand, to show
they were not prejudiced, the papers continued to run the charity page
and used suggestions furnished by H. R., giving him full credit when it
came to philanthropies that had nothing to do with sandwiches.
The series of harrowing radiographs of diseased viscera, published with
success by the most conservative of the evening journals, was one of
H. R.'s subtlest strokes. And prominent persons took to contributing
checks and articles, both signed in full, in response to H. R.'s
occasional appeals in aid of deserving destitution.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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