"Gracious Heavens!" George exclaimed in a rictus of rage. "Do you
suppose that a man of my description goes-about bilking landlords for
the sake of the fun of the thing? It's no such deliriously jolly work,
I can tell you. However, I've never bilked any landlords if that's
what you want to know. Never. They saw that I worked like nineteen
galley-slaves; and they offered to trust me. I voluminously explained
my exact position and prospects to them. I was foolish enough to
believe that you Catholics would keep your promises and pay me for
the work which I did at your orders. So I accepted credit. I wish I
had died. When at length I was defrauded, legally, mind!--for, as my
employers were Catholics and sometimes priests, I trusted to their
honour, and obtained no stamped agreement:--when I was defrauded of my
wages, my landlords lost patience (poor things--I don't blame them,)
harried me, reproached me, at length turned me out, and so prevented
me from paying them. I dug myself out of the gutter with these bare
hands again and again; and started anew to earn enough to pay my
debts. Debts! They never were off my chest for twenty years, no matter
what these vile liars say. Debts! They say that I incurred them for
luxurious living, unjustifiably----"
His passionate voice subsided: he became frightfully cool and tense
and terse, analytical, quite merciless to himself. Their Eminencies
never before had seen a surgical knife at work in a human heart
and brain. They sat all vigilant and attentive, as self-dissection
proceeded. "They say that I gorged myself with sumptuous banquets at
grand hotels. Once, after several days' absolute starvation, I got
a long earned guinea; and I went and had an omelette and a bed at a
place which called itself a grand hotel. It wasn't particularly grand
in the ordinary sense of the term; and my entertainment there cost me
no more than it would have cost me elsewhere, and it was infinitely
cleaner and tastier. They say that I ate daintily, and had elaborate
dishes made from a cookery book of my own. The recipes, (there may
have been a score of them,) were cut-out of a penny weekly, current
among the working classes. The dishes were lentils, carrots, anything
that was cheapest, cleanest, easiest, and most filling--nourishing--at
the price. Each dish cost something under a penny; and I sometimes
had one each day. As I was living on credit, I tried to injure no
one but myself. That's the story of my luxurious living. Let me add
though that I was extravagant, in proportion to my means, in one thing.
Whenever I earned a little bit, I reserved some of it for apparatus
conducing to personal cleanliness, soap, baths, tooth-things, and so
on. I'm not a bit ashamed of that. Why did I use credit? Because it
was offered: because I hoped: because---- That I did not abuse it you
may see, actually see, by my style of living,--here are the receipted
bills;--and by the number and quantity and quality of the works of
my hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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