But, as she went on, her pure and exquisite love and perfect faith
shining through it all seemed to draw his soul out of the mire in which
it had lain. And at last they knew each other's stories and were face to
face with the fateful moment of to-day, and he exclaimed gladly:
"My darling, now nothing else matters--we will never, never part again."
Then, as he looked into her eyes, he saw that not gladness but a solemn
depth of shadow grew there, and he clasped both her hands. A cold agony
chilled his whole being. What, O God, was she going to say?
"John," she whispered, all the tenderness of the angels in her gentle
voice as she leaned and kissed the silver threads in his dark hair.
"John, do you remember, long ago when we spoke of Jason and Medea, and
you asked me the question then, Must he keep his word to her even if she
were a witch?--and I told you that was not the point at all: it was not
because she was or was not a witch, but because it was _his
word?_"--Here her voice broke, and he could hear the tears in it, and he
wildly kissed her hands. Then she went on:
"Oh, my dear lover, it is the same question now. _You cannot break your
word._ Nothing but misfortune could follow. It is a hard law, but I know
it is true, and it is fate. We put in action the force which brings all
that we receive, and we who have courage pay the price without
flinching, and, above and beyond all momentary pleasure or pain, we must
be true to ourselves."
"I cannot, I cannot!" he groaned in agony. "How can you condemn me to
such a fate?--tied to this woman whose every influence is degrading to
me; parted from you whom I adore--I would rather be dead. It is not
fair--not just, if you only knew!"
Then he continued wildly. "Ah, God--and it is all because I forgot the
meaning of your dear and sacred, pledge with me that I must always be
good and true! If I could suffer alone--my darling, my soul!--then I
would go without a word back to hell, if you sent me. But you,
too--think, Halcyone! Can you bear your life? You who are so young,
separated for evermore from love and me. Oh! my own, my own--"
Here he stopped his mad rush of words--her face was so white and
grave--and he let her draw herself from him, and put her hands upon his
shoulders, while her eyes, with tender stars of purity melting in their
depths, gazed into his.
"John," she said, "do not try to weaken me. All Nature, who is my
friend, and the night-winds and their voices, and that dear God Who
never deserts me, tell me that for no present good must we lower
ourselves now. Nothing can ever hurt me. Go back and do that which being
a gentleman entails upon you to do--and leave the rest to God. This is
the winter of our souls, but it will not last forever. The spring is at
hand, if you will only trust, and believe with me that first we on our
side must be ready to pay the price."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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