Spouses -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
She made a futile little gesture and turned away, wrapping her cloak
around her desolately.
“I’d better go.”
“No; stay, and talk to me.”
“Amuse you?”
“Amuse me.”
“I don’t want to amuse you.” She was very pathetic now. “I want to do
other things for you, with you. Couldn’t I stimulate you, maybe?”
He laughed. “You do, angel; you do, immensely.”
Then all in a minute she lost control. The primitive instincts in her,
so untrained by social or intellectual discipline, so thinly overlaid
with “manners,” came through. She was by his side, sobbing, her arms
thrown around him like a child’s.
“I want you to love me, to respect me, admire me--like--like you do
Cecily!”
Matthew’s face grew really stern. He held her, but without a touch of
emotion. Then, when her anger seemed to have spent itself, he drew her
to the big chair, down on his knees, patting her hand. After a little
she looked up at him as if she sought for a trace of the thing she
wanted. His glance met hers gravely.
“When we agreed to be married, do you remember what we talked about and
decided? Haven’t I given you everything I promised?”
“Everything.”
That softened him. “And you’ve given me more than I ever hoped
for--youth and happiness and comfort and the sight of you. Aren’t we
happy enough, Fliss, without mixing ourselves up in a hunt after
emotions that probably can’t naturally develop in us?”
“Can’t they--can’t I be more; couldn’t I learn?”
He put his hand over her mouth. “Don’t spoil your own quality, Fliss.
And remember that I’m getting older and the capacity for certain kinds
of emotion is passing me by.”
“But you feel it for Cecily.”
He set her on her feet like a naughty child and stood facing her.
“Fliss, there is nothing in any feeling which I may or may not have for
Cecily which concerns you remotely.”
She had probed too deep with her awkward weapons. At the rebuff she
stood looking at him wide-eyed, hurt, pathetic.
“I’ve broken our bargain, haven’t I?” she said at length, stumblingly.
“It doesn’t matter. We’ll just forget all this. You’ve made me so happy
in so many ways, Fliss. A home and you----”
“But I can’t reach down in you; I never get down.”
“It’s all right, Fliss dear. You get down far enough. Don’t let’s wreck
things by asking too much of the fates.”
She played her last card. “If, perhaps we had a baby?”
He smiled at her with great tenderness.
“I’d love to have a baby, Fliss dear, but you mustn’t give up or try to
give up everything for me.”
She must have seen, as she looked, that no sentimentality would ever
break him down, ever penetrate those depths which she had come to revere
and to covet so much.
“Let’s go downstairs now, and you can get me some supper, if there’s
anything in the house,” he suggested, trying to get back to solid ground
again. She shook her head.
“Let me go alone for a little while. Come down later.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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