Spouses -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Then all the invisible little bonds which had grown between them in six
years tightened suddenly and all Matthew’s repressions and evasions
crumbled. For one moment bigger than all reason, he held her against his
heart and as he bent his head to hers Cecily looked up at the man who
understood her and thought with her and for her and she trusted herself
to the comfort of his arms, while he said foolish, shaken things and
broke off to press his lips into the soft hollow of her neck.
Then she drew away, but very, very gently.
“It’s a terrible confusion, isn’t it? There’s nothing for us; little for
you and Fliss; and nothing for Dick and me. All our lives are tangled up
together and we can’t straighten it out.”
The dream had not quite gone from Matthew’s eyes as he looked down at
her soft, flushed cheeks and the waves of dark hair.
“You think we couldn’t, you and I, for each other?”
“I’ve three children, Matthew. I couldn’t start over.”
“I’d love the children. It would all be arranged so easily--so quickly.
You’d not need to have the slightest embarrassment or pain. And to bring
you happiness, Cecily--to keep you in the midst of the happiness you
deserve and need--might be what only I could do. I’d try, dear.”
Cecily sat silent, her hands pressed against her face. Whether it was
pity or hesitation or horror that she felt he could not tell. But
to-night Matthew was not a philosopher, but a man with intense desires
and hopes. He pressed his advantage.
“After it was settled we’d be able to go away--away to places you’ve
never seen--we’d learn about the world together.”
He wanted to take her in his arms again, but she gave him no
opportunity.
“It wouldn’t do,” she said swiftly. “I’m sure it wouldn’t do. Just for a
moment, Matthew, you thought it would. But you and I couldn’t do that
sort of thing and you know it as well as I do. We’re not the kind of
persons who can build happiness out of wrongs.”
“But what are the wrongs?”
“Wrongs to Fliss and to Dick--even if we don’t think they’d care much.
I’m sure, Matthew. There was a moment when I was doubtful about it, but
I’m not doubtful any more. There are times, I suppose, when that sort of
thing is justified--if a woman loves a man enough. But----”
He did not let her finish. “Don’t say it, Cecily. I know. But I’d rather
not have you say it. Forget it all. For a moment while you were doubtful
I sailed among the clouds. It was my big personal moment. Now I’m back
on the earth and there I’ll stay. I’ll go to Washington and fumble
around among the tangles of the country’s affairs and if I’m lucky
perhaps I’ll untie some little knot in the great tangle. And I’ll be
glad all the time that you are alive and that the world is enriched by
you.”
“It will be so lonely without you. Even when I don’t see much of you,
just to know that you are here is a comfort.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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