Spouses -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
It was a very simple life. All day at the mines, absorbed in study of
practical things, varied perhaps in some way by a discussion with some
of the foremen or some of the men themselves. He was amazed to find how
hard every one was thinking. Nearly every man he met had some idea that
changes were needed in mind, state or nation. He heard wise comments
often as well as ridiculous ones, but he found no common basis for all
the comments--nothing to build upon--no standard which they all would
follow. He puzzled about it somewhat. At the end of the day, in the
short evenings, he thought of these things, sometimes sitting in the
unkempt lobby of the hotel, sometimes walking swiftly in the cold night.
And as he walked he would see lights come out from the windows of the
little houses and shadows pass the windows, and he would be very lonely.
More lonely than he had been in Carrington, for he felt closer to these
houses and yet shut out from them. He had the sense of men behind the
windows, with their families--men basically like himself, women
fundamentally like Cecily. And as he walked he often wondered, too, what
it was that had parted him and Cecily again on that Christmas morning,
why they could not have been happy together. Sometimes it seemed so
cruelly abnormal to him that he was tempted to go to her again. Things
looked simpler here in this little streetcarless, snow covered, hard
driven town. Men were husbands and women were wives, and mental quibbles
were of such little consequence. In these clear moments of normality it
was amazing to him that he and Cecily had ever quarreled. She, the
beautiful, loyal mother of his children; he, her husband, devoted to his
children and loving Cecily so deeply. And yet there it was. In some way
they had torn their marriage into shreds. Because she did not want him
to like the things, the people, the amusements which she did not like;
because she had rated him cheap and held herself dear; because she had
insisted on her standards for both of them.
Trivialities, no doubt of it. They had thrown away vital things for
trivialities. They’d won their points. He might go where he liked, amuse
himself as he liked, live by his own standards. And where was he? A man
without a home, without a family; and yet always with the precious sense
of that family, his even though he was not with it. And she--he could
imagine her sitting quietly in that long living-room of hers, with her
book--alone. Or was she? Matthew had said it could not go on that way;
that some man was bound to disturb Cecily. Cecily’s husband put that
thought from his mind with distaste.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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