"But I cannot imagine what talkative demon possesses me this morning; I
believe that I have been infected by that old washerwoman, Granow. Or
perhaps it is because I have to make up for yesterday evening. In
truth, George, I missed you exceedingly. Trantow, the good fellow,
brought me home out of pure compassion, because he saw what a trial it
would be to me to smoke my last cigar alone. And I tell you it cost me
dearly that you were not with me. It went hard with me, George,
terribly hard. Old hawk as I am, they plucked me until the feathers
flew; but we will pay them back this evening. We shall meet at
Trantow's, where I have always been lucky; but you are not to quit my
side. And now drink your coffee, and come down in half an hour; I have
a letter or two to write; the steuerrath wants to be once more
delivered from his thousand-and-one embarrassments; but this time I
cannot help him, at all events not today; he must wait awhile yet. In
half an hour then, and afterwards we will go down to the beach. I feel
a little feverish to-day, and the sea-breeze will do me good."
He went, and left me in a singular frame of mind. I felt as if he had
told me everything, and yet, when I thought it over, it was no more
than what he had often said to me before. I felt as if I had bound
myself to him body and soul, and yet he had taken no promise from me.
But this was just the thing which made me feel more than ever attached
to this singular man. If he was magnanimous enough not to take me with
him upon his ship, which he saw was driving to destruction, could I
stand calmly on the safe shore and watch him struggling and sinking in
the waves?
My youthful fancy kindled at his romantic story of the knight who had
been at feud with my native town. I wished that I had been there; I
fancied myself playing the part of the page who made his way out at
risk of his life to bring help and rescue to his beloved lord. Should
my thoughts be more mean, my actions more craven than those of that
boy? And were we not in similar circumstances? Was not my knight at the
last extremity? Had not the Peppersacks taken his all?--left him
nothing of all the heritage of his ancestors--him, that kingly man? How
he had stood before me, the tall noble form with flashing eyes, and
anguish imprinted in his pale, deeply-furrowed face with its flowing
beard. This man to have planned to sell his daughter! And a creature
like the commerzienrath should one day be lord here in his stead! The
creature with his close-shaven fox-face, his blinking, thievish eyes,
and his clumsy, greedy hands; the man who had foredoomed me to the
gallows. Yes, they had dealt with me no better than with my knight.
They had driven me out of the town, and now, thank heaven, I had a
right to hate them as I had always despised.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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