How deeply must the prison air have poisoned my heart, that these words
and the tone in which they were spoken did not move me! Alas, it is one
of my most painful recollections that this was so; that I rudely
repulsed the hand of the noblest of men, and deliberately wounded the
kindest heart on earth. But the narrative of my life would have no
worth, if my faults were not honestly set down. And I have often
thought that I might not have learned to love him so well had I been
less obdurate at first, had I not given him the occasion to heap upon
me all the wealth of his benevolence and love. And yet I err in this.
Jewels of the costliest price, of the purest water, need no dark foil.
"Poor youth!" he said again, and held out his white and almost
transparent hand; but let it fall again, when, instead of taking it and
pressing it with reverence to my lips, as I should have done had I
known him, I folded my arms and stepped back.
"Yes," he said, and his voice sounded, if possible, still gentler than
before, "it is very hard, very cruel, the fate which has befallen you
for a crime which, whatever it may be in the eyes of the judge who must
follow the stern letter of the law, in the eyes of others merits a
milder name, for at least it does in mine. I am the brother of the man
for whose fault you are suffering."
He seemed to expect an answer from me, or at least some word of
acknowledgement, which I would not give. I would not do my jailor the
favor to help him in his attempt to show himself in another light than
that in which I saw him.
"It is a strange caprice of fortune," he continued, after a short
pause, always in the same gentle manner, "that one brother should to a
certain extent be the instrument of punishing you for the injury which
another has done you--a chance for which I am thankful, and which I
think I shall rightly employ by--but of this another time. To-day the
gloomy shadow of the first dreary impression a place like this must
make upon a spirit like yours, lies too heavily upon you; though I
could speak with the tongues of angels, I could find no entrance to
your heart, which is closed by anger and hatred. I have merely come to
perform a duty which my office and I may say my heart prescribes. And
this also is my duty, so that you may freely answer me without feeling
that your pride is making concessions. Have you any wish that it is in
my power to grant?"
"No," I answered, "for you could hardly give me a day's shooting over
the heaths of Zehrendorf."
A sad smile played around the superintendent's delicate lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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