"You came, I saw you as I had pictured you to myself; I found you just
as I had thought. There may have been some apparent difference, but
that was not the youth who, to rescue my brother, had rushed upon ruin;
who had given himself up to justice that men might not say his father
was his accomplice; who during the trial had knowingly damaged his own
cause by obstinately refusing all information implicating others; whose
manly candor in all other points would have touched any heart but the
shriveled heart of a man of acts and processes. This was a man who had
been wronged under the forms of law, whose clear soul had been darkened
by the gloom of a dungeon.
"It was worthy of you that you attempted no concealment of your feeling
of hatred, that you proudly rejected what was offered you here, which
others would have greedily seized. Let me be brief The malady that had
been so long incubating, which nothing but your unusually strong
constitution was able to withstand so long, at last declared itself. In
the frenzy of your disturbed mind you wished to show: 'This is what you
have made out of me!' and the result showed that you had remained what
you always were. You were carried away for dead from the place; a
physician hastily called in gave some hope, but said that only the most
unremitting care could save you. Where could you receive that care but
here? Who could more faithfully watch over your life than he who owed
you his own? What, in such a case, were to me the rules of the house,
or the talk of men? We carried you into the first room, which happened
to be the best for our purpose. We--that is, my wife, my daughter, who
is older than her years, the faithful old Süssmilch, the physician,
whom you will learn to love as he deserves, and myself--we have fought
faithfully and bravely with the death that threatened you; and the
women wept, and the men shook each other by the hand when your strong
nature triumphed over its enemy, and the physician said to us--a week
ago--'He is saved.' And now enough; perhaps too much for to-day. If
from our conversation you have received the impression, and will bear
it with you into your sleep, that you are among friends that love you,
that is all I wish. I hear Süssmilch coming; I wanted to relieve him
to-night, but he says he cannot leave his prisoner. And now good night
and good rest."
He passed his hand softly over my brow and eyes, and left the room. My
soul was filled with his words. No man had ever spoken to me like this.
Was it really myself? Had my gloomy soul departed during my long
sickness, and given place to a purer, brighter spirit? Be it as it
might, it was sweet--almost too sweet to last. But I would keep it as
long as I could, as one holds fast the refrain of some lovely melody. I
did not move, I did not open my eyes, when I heard by a slight rustling
in the room that my faithful guardian was making his preparations for
the night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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