"You have no further occasion for me, Herr Superintendent?" I said,
and, without awaiting his answer, left the room, and hastened to the
office in a state of agitation, at which now I can but smile. What had
happened of so much consequence? A man, speaking of matters of
importance, had been guilty of an audacious lie. Later I discovered
that this is not of such rare occurrence, and in matters of business
lying has a sort of charter; but I was then very young, very
inexperienced, and, I may add, innocent, or my emotion at this moment
could not have been so violent. I stood in the presence of a thing to
me at once horrible and incomprehensible. I could not grasp it. I felt
as if the world was being lifted from its pivots. Once before something
like this had happened to me--when I heard of Constance's flight, and
learned that she had deceived me and lied to me; but there was then
still a kind of palliation for her in my eyes; the passion of love,
which I could understand. But this I did not understand. I could not
conceive how, for a few wretched hundred or thousand dollars, one could
calumniate the dead, defraud the living, and roll one's self in the
mire. But one thing became clear to me at that moment, and all my life
since I have held to the conviction that truth is not a mere form, by
the side of which another might have place, but that it is like nature,
the foundation and the essential condition of human existence; and that
every lie shakes and upheaves this foundation, as far as its influence
reaches.
Since then I have discovered that this influence is not so extremely
wide; that as water naturally seeks its level, so the moral world
continually strives to keep truth erect, and to cancel the injurious
effect of falsehood.
But on this morning this consolatory thought did not present itself to
calm the agitation in my heart. "Liar, hateful, disgusting liar!" I
murmured over and over to myself, "you deserve that I should have you
placed in the pillory; that I should reveal the real contents of the
last letter you wrote to your brother."
I think that if this state of things had continued, I should not have
been able to resist the impulse to revenge Truth on her betrayer,
however foreign to my nature was the part of informer. But I now heard
the gentlemen coming down the stairs, and the next moment the
superintendent entered the office. His cheeks were now as pale as they
had before been flushed; his eyes were glassy, as those of one who has
just undergone an agonizing operation; he tottered to a chair, and sank
into it as I hastened to support him.
After a minute he pressed my hand, assumed an erect position, and said,
smiling:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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