I have no means of answering this question, except what I draw from my
own foreboding soul. Arthur, who has long been a lieutenant, and has
been stationed this spring at the military school in the capital, has
often visited the house, it is true, but the frequency of his visits
diminished with every year, and I could not say that he had sought to
draw any nearer to Paula. But there must have been some reason that
towards me, who had done him no injury, who always treated him in a
friendly manner, however little heart I had sometimes for it, he became
constantly more and more reserved, and at last avoided me as far as
possible. The money which he owed me, and which in the course of years
had increased to a sum by no means insignificant for my circumstances,
could not be the cause, for I had given it to him willingly and
cheerfully--he is always in difficulties, and resolved to blow out his
brains--never asked for repayment, but always assured him that I was in
no hurry for it; no, it cannot be the money. Does he fear a rival in
me? Good heavens! I can hardly be a dangerous rival. Who could fear a
prisoner, whose future is a book with seven seals, and scarcely
containing one pleasant chapter? Can he never forgive me that Paula is
always as kind and friendly to me as ever? Have I not deserved that,
who do all I can for her, and read her lightest wish in her eyes?
I do not know; as little do I know if it is chance that Paula, from the
hour that Arthur went to Berlin, painted no more on the picture. And
yet for this purpose she needs him least of all, for his knightly copy
only lacks a few touches. I ponder the reason over and over. And as I
venture once to ask Paula about it, she answers, not without some
hesitation, which is a rare thing with her:
"I have lost all pleasure in the picture."
This leads to a question which seems even worse than the first, and
which I had better leave unmeddled with, if I were prudent.
But I am not prudent, and cannot get it out of my head; and as my head
can make nothing of it, I lay it before Doctor Willibrod in a quite
casual manner, as if nothing really depended upon the answer:
"Tell me, doctor, why has Fräulein Paula lost all pleasure in her
picture?"
"Who says that?" asked the doctor.
"She herself."
"Then ask herself."
"If I wished to do or could do that, I would not need your opinion."
"Why should I have any opinion in the matter?" cries the doctor. "What
does it concern me why Paula does not choose to work on the thing any
longer? Since nature herself has not thought fit to finish me, I do not
care whether I am finished in the picture or not."
I see that I make no progress in this way, so I venture to hint that
perhaps Arthur's absence has had an influence upon Paula's feelings in
the matter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account