If, according to the unanimous report of travellers by that route, the
road to hell is paved with good intentions, I am convinced that several
square rods of it are my work, and that the greater part of it was laid
down in the first fortnight of my stay at Zehrendorf. There could,
indeed, scarcely have been a place where everything essential to this
easy and pleasant occupation was provided in ampler abundance. Wherever
one went, or stood, or turned the eyes, there lay the materials ready
to hand; and I was too young, too inexperienced, and I will venture to
add, too good-hearted, not to fall to work with all my energy. Of what
unspeakable folly I was guilty in undertaking to set right the
disordered and disjointed world in which I was now moving, after I had
already shown that I could not adjust myself to the correct and orderly
world from which I came--this thought did not seize me till long
afterwards.
No; I was thoroughly convinced of my sublime mission; and I thanked my
propitious star that had so gloriously brought me from the harsh
slavery of the school and of my father's house, where I was pining
away; from the oppressive bonds of Philistine associations which
hampered the free flight of my heroic soul, into this freedom of the
desert which seemed to have no bounds, and behind which must lie a
Canaan which I was gallantly resolved to conquer--a land flowing with
the milk of friendship and with the honey of love.
True, the letter which soon arrived, with a great box containing my
personal chattels, from my father to Herr von Zehren, for a while gave
me pause. The letter comprised but very few lines, to the effect that
he--my father--was fully convinced of the impossibility of ever leading
me by his road to any good end, and that he was compelled to give me
over, for weal or woe, to my own devices; only hoping that my
disobedience and my obstinacy might not be visited upon me too heavily.
Herr von Zehren showed me the letter, and as he observed my grave look
upon reading it, asked me, "Do you wish to go back?" adding
immediately, "Do not do it. That is no place for you. The old gentleman
wanted to make a draught-horse out of you, but, tall and strong as you
are, that is not your vocation. You are a hunter, for whom no ditch is
too wide, and no hedge too high. Come along! I saw a covey of some two
dozen over in the croft; we will have them before dinner."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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