As soon as I had read this letter, which offered me such an opportunity
of heaping coals of fire on the head of my still-loved friend, I
resolved to help him out of his difficulties with a part of the money I
had won on that first evening; but this intention, which I cannot
maintain to have been in any sense a good one, was destined never to be
carried into execution. For the same evening Herr von Zehren gave his
guests their revenge at Hans von Trantow's, and I lost not only all the
money I had won with such palpitations, to the very last _thaler_, but
a considerable sum besides, which my obliging host, who was again the
winner, had forced upon me. This ill fortune, which I might have
foreseen if I had had a grain more sense, struck me as a heavy blow. In
spite of my frivolity, I had always been scrupulously conscientious in
my small money-matters; had always paid my insignificant debts
cheerfully and as promptly as possible; and as we were driving home at
daybreak after this unlucky evening, I felt more wretched than I had
ever done before. How could I ever be in a position to pay such a
sum--especially now that I had resolved never again to touch a card?
How could I venture in broad daylight to look into the face of the man
to whom I was already under so many obligations?
Herr von Zehren, who was in the best of humors, laughed aloud when,
after some urging on his part, I confessed to him my trouble. "My dear
George," said he--he had taken to calling me George altogether--"don't
take it amiss, but you really are too absurd. Why, man, do you really
think that I would for one instant hold you responsible for what you
did at my express request? Whoever lends money to minors, does it, as
everybody knows, at his own risk, and you certainly remember that I
forced the money upon you. And why did I do it? Simply because it gave
me pleasure, and because I liked to see your honest, glowing face
across the table, and to compare it with Granow's hang-dog look and
Trantow's stony stare. And when a young fellow that is my valued guest,
to please me, accompanies me out shooting, or to the faro-table, and he
has no money and no gun, it is right and fair and a matter of course
that I should place my gun-room and purse at his disposal. And now say
no more about the trifle, and give me a cigar if we have any left."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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