Since that memorable walk with her through the wood to the ruins on the
promontory, I had not again been alone with Constance for a long time.
During the three rainy days I saw her at the dinner table, and perhaps
about as often at supper when we returned from shooting; but always in
the presence of her father, and usually of Herren von Trantow and
Granow, our companions of the field and the card-table. On these
occasions she scarcely lifted her lovely eyes from her untouched plate,
while the tall Hans stared at her after his fashion, the short Granow
chattered away as usual, undisturbed by her chilling silence, and Herr
von Zehren, who in his daughter's presence always seemed in a
singularly irritated mood, loosed at her more than one of his keen
sarcastic shafts. These were for me sad and bitter hours, and all the
bitterer as I, with all my desire to be of service, felt myself so
utterly helpless, and what was worst of all, thought I observed that
she no longer excepted me from the aversion which she openly manifested
towards her father's friends. In the first days of my stay at the
castle it was entirely different. In those days she had always for me a
ready friendly glance, a kind word occasionally whispered, a cordial if
hasty pressure of the hand. This was all now at an end. She spoke to me
no more, she looked at me no more, except at times with a look in which
indignation seemed mingled with contempt, and which cut me to the
heart.
And had I been short-sighted enough to mistake the meaning of these
looks, a word dropped by old Pahlen would have opened my eyes.
I hit upon the idea of asking permission to occupy, instead of my
present room in the front of the house, one of the empty apartments
looking on the park. Into this I carried from time to time various
articles of furniture, most of them still valuable, which were lying
about in the dilapidated regions of the upper story, until I had
brought together an accumulation which presented a very singular
appearance. Herr von Zehren laughed heartily when one day coming to
call me to dinner, as I in my new occupation had forgotten the hour, he
caught me hard at work arranging my worm-eaten and tarnished treasures.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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