In the meantime the happiness which only young hearts, or such as have
long retained their youth, can appreciate, was, as I have said, but of
brief duration. The singular change in Constance's manner towards me,
plucked me from my heaven; and I tortured my brain in the effort to
discover what cause had brought me into her disfavor. But think
as I might, I could find no key to the mystery; and at last I
resolved--though a foreboding of evil warned me against it--to have
recourse to Pahlen, who, if any one, could solve me the enigma that
weighed so heavily upon my foolish head.
This ugly old woman had lately been rather more obliging. I had
soon discovered that she was extremely fond of money, and I did not
hesitate now and then, under one pretence or another, to slip into her
wrinkled brown hands two or three of the _thalers_ that I won at the
card-table--for naturally enough I had abandoned my resolution to play
no more. The glitter of the silver softened her stony old heart; she no
longer growled and grumbled when I ventured to speak to her, and once
or twice actually brought coffee to my room with her own hands. When I
thought that the taming process was sufficiently advanced, I ventured
to ask her about the subject nearest my heart--her young mistress. She
threw me one of her suspicious looks, and finally, as I repeated my
question, puckered her ugly old face into a repulsive grin, and said:
"Yes; catch mice with cheese; but you need not try that game; old
Pahlen is too sharp for you."
What was the game that I need not try?
As I could not find a satisfactory answer to this question, I asked the
old woman on the following day.
"You need not make as if you did not know," she said, with a kind of
respect, inspired probably by my innocent manner, which she naturally
took for a masterpiece of deception; "I am not going to betray my young
lady for a couple of _thalers_. I have been sorry enough, I can tell
you, that I helped to clear up this room for you, and she has
complained bitterly enough about it."
"But, good heaven," I said, "I will cheerfully go back to my old room
if the young lady wishes it. I never thought it would be so extremely
disagreeable to her if I caught a sight of her now and then. I could
not have supposed it."
"And that was all you wanted?" asked the old woman.
I did not answer. I was half desperate to think that--heaven knows how
involuntarily--I had offended her whom I so deeply loved; and yet I was
glad to learn at last what my offence was. Like the young fool I was, I
strode up and down the great room, and cried:
"I will quit this room this very day; I will not sleep another night in
it; tell your young lady that; and tell her that I would leave the
castle this very hour, only that I do not know what to say to Herr von
Zehren."
And I threw myself into the old worm-eaten, high-backed chair, at
imminent risk of its destruction, with the deepest distress evident in
my features.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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