Handy Andy: A Tale of Irish Life. Volume 1Lover, Samuel
General
Handy Andy: A Tale of Irish Life. Volume 1
Lover, Samuel
Ireland -- Fiction
The trumpeter filled his lungs for a great blast, and put the trumpet to
his lips--but in vain; Andy had bottled his music for him. O'Grady,
seeing the inflated cheeks and protruding eyes of the musician, whose
visage was crimson with exertion, and yet no sound produced, thought the
fellow was practising one of his jokes upon him, and became excessively
indignant; he thundered anathemas at him, but his voice was drowned in
the din of the drum and cymbals, which were plied so vigorously, that
the clarionet and fife shared the same fate as O'Grady's voice. The
trumpeter could judge of O'Grady's rage from the fierceness of his
actions only, and answered him in pantomimic expression, holding up his
trumpet and pointing into the bell, with a grin of vexation on his phiz,
meant to express something was wrong; but this was all mistaken by the
fierce O'Grady, who only saw in the trumpeter's grins the insolent
intention of jibing him.
"Blow, you blackguard, blow!" shouted the Squire. Bang went the drum.
"Blow--or I'll break your neck!" Crash went the cymbals.
"Stop your banging there, you ruffians, and let me be heard!" roared
the excited man; but as he was standing up on the seat of the carriage,
and flung his arms about wildly as he spoke, the drummer thought his
action was meant to stimulate him to further exertion, and he banged
away louder than before.
"By the hokey, I'll murder some o' ye!" shouted the Squire, who,
ordering the carriage to pull up, flung open the door and jumped out,
made a rush at the drummer, seized his principal drumstick, and giving
him a bang over the head with it, cursed him for a rascal for not
stopping when he told him; this silenced all the instruments together,
and O'Grady, seizing the trumpeter by the back of the neck, shook him
violently, while he denounced with fierce imprecations his insolence in
daring to practise a joke on him. The trumpeter protested his innocence,
and O'Grady called him a lying rascal, finishing his abuse by clenching
his fist in a menacing attitude, and telling him to play.
"I can't, yer honour!"
"You lie, you scoundrel."
"There's something in the trumpet, sir."
"Yes, there's music in it; and if you don't blow it out of it----"
"I can't blow it out of it, sir."
"Hold your prate, you ruffian; blow this minute."
"Arrah, thry it yourself, sir," said the frightened man, handing the
instrument to the Squire.
"D----n your impudence, you rascal; do you think I'd blow anything that
was in your dirty mouth? Blow, I tell you, or it will be worse for
you."
"By the vartue o' my oath, your honour----"
"Blow, I tell you!"
"By the seven blessed candles----"
"Blow, I tell you!"
"The trumpet is choked, sir."
"There will be a trumpeter choked, soon," said O'Grady, gripping him by
the neck-handkerchief, with his knuckles ready to twist into his throat.
"By this and that I'll strangle you, if you don't play this minute, you
humbugger."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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