Handy Andy: A Tale of Irish Life. Volume 1Lover, Samuel
General
Handy Andy: A Tale of Irish Life. Volume 1
Lover, Samuel
Ireland -- Fiction
Now the reader must know something of the fair Mistress Flanagan who
was left in very comfortable circumstances by a niggardly husband, who
did her the favour to die suddenly one day, to the no small satisfaction
of the pleasure-loving widow, who married him in an odd sort of a hurry,
and got rid of him as quickly. Mr. Flanagan was engaged in supplying the
export provision trade, which, every one knows, is considerable in
Ireland; and his dealings in beef and butter were extensive. This
brought him into contact with the farmers for many miles round, whom he
met, not only every market-day at every market-town in the county, but
at their own houses, where a knife and fork were always at the service
of the rich buyer. One of these was a certain Mat Riley, who, on small
means, managed to live, and rear a son and three bouncing, good-looking
girls, who helped to make butter, feed calves, and superintend the
education of pigs; and on these active and comely lasses Mr. Flanagan
often cast an eye of admiration, with a view to making one of them his
wife; for though he might have had his pick and choice of many fine
girls in the towns he dealt in, he thought the simple, thrifty, and
industrious habits of a plain farmer's daughter more likely to conduce
to his happiness and _profit_--for in that principally lay the aforesaid
happiness of Mr. Flanagan. Now, this intention of honouring one of the
three Miss Rileys with promotion he never hinted at in the remotest
degree, and even in his own mind the thought was mixed up with fat
cattle and prices current; and it was not until a leisure moment one
day, when he was paying Mat Riley for some of his farming produce, that
he broached the subject thus:
"Mat." "Sir."
"I'm thinking o' marrying."
"Well, she'll have a snug house, whoever she is, Misther Flanagan."
"Them's fine girls o' yours."
Poor Mat opened his eyes with delight at the prospect of such a match
for one of his daughters, and said they were "comely lumps o' girls,
sure enough; but, what was betther, they wor good."
"That's what I'm thinking," says Flanagan. "There's two ten-poun'
notes, and a five, and one is six, and one is seven; and three tenpinnies
is two-and-sixpence; that's twenty-seven poun' two-and-sixpence:
eight-pence-ha'penny is the lot; but I haven't copper in my company,
Mat."
"Oh, no matther, Misther Flanagan. And is it one o' my colleens you've
been throwing the eye at, sir?"
"Yes, Mat, it is. You're askin' too much for them firkins?"
"Oh, Misther Flanagan, consider it's prime butther. I'll back my girls
for making up a bit o' butther agen any girls in Ireland; and my cows
is good, and the pasture prime."
"'T is a farthing a poun' too high, Mat; and the market not lively."
"The butther is good, Mr. Flanagan; and not decenther girls in Ireland
than the same girls, though I'm their father."
"I'm thinking I'll marry one o' them, Mat."
"Sure, an' it's proud I'll be, sir; and which o' them is it, maybe?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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