During the first days our love was all emotion and had ceaseless tears
in its eyes; but afterward it bloomed out in gladness, like a flower in
spring, and we laughed then whole days.
* * * * *
Because of the lateness of the holidays, spring was in the world. The
trees were in bud. Before Holy Week Tola and I, with her parents, made
visits. People looked at us curiously everywhere; at times this was
annoying. Some older ladies put glasses on their eyes at sight of me;
but I had to pass the ordeal. Tola, joyous and fresh as a bird, rewarded
me a hundredfold for those irksome visits.
* * * * *
I looked myself to the painting of the rooms. Because of the weather
everything dried in a twinkle. The bedroom I had painted in rose-color.
* * * * *
My love increased daily. I was sure now that even were Tola to change,
were she even to grow ugly, I should say to myself, "Misfortune has
touched _me_;" but I would not cease to love her. A man in that state
yields himself up so completely that he knows not where his own _I_
ceases.
* * * * *
We amused ourselves often like children; at times we teased each other.
When, for example, I came in the morning and found her alone, I looked
through the room, as if not observing her; I looked for her, and asked,
"Is there no one here who is loved?" She searched in the corners, shook
her bright head, and answered, "No! it seems not."-- "But that young
lady?"-- "Oh, perhaps she is a little!" Then after a while she added in
a whisper, "And perhaps greatly."
At that time a new feeling involved itself in my love. Not only did I
love Tola, but I liked her beyond everything. I was dying for her
companionship. I could pass whole hours with her talking about anything.
At times we talked deeply and seriously touching our future, though in
general I avoided all discussions and theories on the theme of what
marriage should be; for I thought why must I enclose in prearranged
formulas that which should develop spontaneously from love itself. There
is no need to lay before flowers theories of how they should bloom.
* * * * *
Good Friday passed silently, gloomily. On the streets there was mist,
and a light rain was falling. We and Tola's parents went to the
cemetery; we put each what we chose on the plates of beggars. Tola,
dressed in black, serene, calm, and dignified, appeared beautiful as
never before. At moments, in the gloom of the church, or in the light of
the candles, her face was perfectly angelic. That day she caught a
slight cold; and I raced through all the cellars, looking for old
Malaga, which some one had advised her to drink.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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