"Or buy us a little roulette table," added Remus.
"Do not annoy me! Let us go to the carriage," said she, turning to
Svirski. Then she took farewell of De Sinten.
"At seven, did you say?" inquired he.
"At seven."
They parted; and after a while Svirski found himself again at the side
of the beautiful widow. This time they occupied the front seat, since
they wished to look at the setting sun.
"People say that Monte Carlo is more sheltered than Mentone," remarked
the widow; "but, oh, how it bores me at times! That endless noise, that
movement, those acquaintances which one must make, willingly or
unwillingly. Sometimes I wish to rush away and spend the rest of the
winter in some quiet corner where I should see only those whom I see
with pleasure-- What place do you like best?"
"I like San Raphael greatly; the pines there go down to the sea."
"True, but it is far from Nice," answered she, in a low voice; "and your
studio is in Nice."
A moment of silence followed, after which Pani Elzen inquired,--
"But Antibes?"
"True! I forgot Antibes."
"Besides, it is so near Nice. After dinner you will stop with me a
little and talk of a place where one might escape from society."
"Do you wish really to flee from people?"
"Let us talk sincerely; I detect doubt in your question. You suspect me
of speaking as I do so as to appear better, or at least less shallow,
than I am-- And you have a right to your suspicion, since you see me
always in the whirl of society. But my answer is this: We move
frequently with a force not our own, because once we were impelled in a
given direction, and endure now in spite of us the results of previous
life. As to me, it may be that this is because of the weakness of woman,
who has not strength to free herself without the aid of another--I
confess this-- But that fact does not save one from yearning greatly and
sincerely for some quiet corner and a calmer life. Let people say what
they choose, we women are like climbing plants, which creep along the
ground when they cannot grow upward. For this reason, people are often
mistaken, thinking that we creep of our own choice. By creeping, I
understand empty society life, without lofty thought. But how am I, for
example, to defend myself against this! Some one begs permission to
present an acquaintance; the man presented makes a visit, after that a
second, a third, and a tenth--what am I to do? Not permit the
presentation? Of course I permit it; even for this reason, that the more
people I receive, the more indifferent I am to each, and the more each
is prevented from occupying an exceptional position."
"You are right," said Svirski.
"But do you see that in this way is created that current of social life
from which I cannot tear myself with my own strength, and which wearies
and tortures me to such a degree that at times I could scream out from
pain."
"I believe you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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