Hans of Iceland, Vol. 2 of 2; The Last Day of a CondemnedHugo, Victor
General
Hans of Iceland, Vol. 2 of 2; The Last Day of a Condemned
Hugo, Victor
Capital punishment -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Iceland -- Fiction; Prisoners -- France -- Fiction
“Indeed?” said the monster, with a malicious grin.
“I tell you again, Sir Brigand, that I am hangman for the province.”
“If I were not myself I should like to be you,” replied the brigand.
“I can’t say the same for you,” rejoined the hangman; then rubbing his
hands with a conceited and complacent smirk, he added: “My friend, you
are right; ours is a fine trade. Ah! my hand knows the weight of a man’s
head.”
“Have you often tasted blood?” asked the brigand.
“No; but I have often used the rack.”
“Have you ever devoured the entrails of a living child?”
“No; but I have crushed men’s bones in a vise; I have broken their limbs
upon the wheel; I have dulled steel saws upon their skulls; I have torn
their quivering flesh with red-hot pincers; I have burned the blood in
their open veins by pouring in a stream of molten lead and boiling oil.”
“Yes,” said the brigand, with a thoughtful look, “you have your
pleasures too.”
“In fact,” added the hangman, “Hans of Iceland though you be, I imagine
that my hands have released more human souls than yours, to say nothing
of your own, which you must render up to-morrow.”
“Always provided that I have one. Do you suppose, then, executioner of
Throndhjem, that you can release the spirit of Ingulf from Hans of
Iceland’s mortal frame without its carrying off your own?”
The executioner laughed heartily. “Indeed, we shall see to-morrow.”
“We shall see,” said the brigand.
“Well,” said the executioner, “I did not come here to talk of your
spirit, but only of your body. Hearken! your body by law belongs to me
after your death; but the law gives you the right to sell it to me. Tell
me what you will take for it?”
“What I will take for my corpse?” said the brigand.
“Yes, and be reasonable.”
Hans of Iceland turned to his jailer: “Tell me, mate, how much do you
ask for a bundle of straw and a handful of fire?”
The jailer reflected. “Two gold ducats.”
“Well,” said the brigand to the hangman, “you must give me two gold
ducats for my corpse.”
“Two gold ducats!” cried the hangman. “It is horribly dear. Two gold
ducats for a wretched corpse! No, indeed! I’ll give no such price.”
“Then,” quietly responded the monster, “you shall not have it.”
“Then you will be thrown into the common sewer, instead of adorning the
Royal Museum at Copenhagen or the collection of curiosities at Bergen.”
“What do I care?”
“Long after your death, people will flock to look at your skeleton,
saying, ‘Those are the remains of the famous Hans of Iceland!’ Your
bones will be nicely polished, and strung on copper wire; you will be
placed in a big glass case, and dusted carefully every day. Instead of
these honors, consider what awaits you if you refuse to sell me your
body; you will be left to rot in some charnel-house, where you will be
the prey of worms and other vermin.”
“Well, I shall be like the living, who are perpetually preyed upon by
their inferiors and devoured by their superiors.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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