But on none did the sun shine with more brightness, or the sky smile
with more bitter mockery, on that morning, than on the dark forms of
Arthur Hutchinson and his young pupil, Alfred Bernard, as they sat
together in the embrasure of the window which lightened the little room
of the grave old preacher. A terrible revelation was that morning to be
made, involving the fate of the young jesuit, and meting out a dread
retribution for the crime that he had committed. Arthur Hutchinson had
reserved for this day the narrative of the birth and history of Alfred
Bernard. It had been a story which he long had desired to know, but to
all his urgent inquiries the old preacher had given an evasive reply.
But now there was no longer need for mystery. The design of that long
silence had been fully accomplished, and thus the stern misanthrope
began his narrative:
“It matters little, Alfred Bernard, to speak of my own origin and
parentage. Suffice it to say, that though not noble, by the accepted
rules of heraldry, my parents were noble in that higher sense, in which
all may aspire to true nobility, a patent not granted for bloody feats
in arms, nor by an erring man, but granted to true honesty and virtue
from the court of heaven. I was not rich, and yet, by self-denial on the
part of my parents, and by strict economy on my own part, I succeeded in
entering Baliol College, Oxford, where I pursued my studies with
diligence and success. This success was more essential, because I could
look only to my own resources in my struggle with the world. But, more
than this, I had already learned to think and care for another than
myself; for I had yielded my young heart to one, who requited my
affection with her own. I have long denied myself the luxury of looking
back upon the bright image of that fair creature, so fair, and yet so
fatal. But for your sake, and for mine own, I will draw aside the veil,
which has fallen upon those early scenes, and look at them again.
“Mary Howard was just eighteen years of age, when she plighted her troth
to me; and surely never has Heaven placed a purer spirit in a more
lovely form. Trusting and affectionate, her warm heart must needs fasten
upon something it might love; and because we had been reared together,
and she was ignorant of the larger world around her, her love was fixed
on me. I will not go back to those bright, joyous days of innocence and
happiness. They are gone forever, Alfred Bernard, and I have lived, and
now live for another object, than to indulge in the recollection of joy
and love. The saddest day of my whole life, except one, and that has
darkened all the rest, was when I first left her side to go to college.
But still we looked onward with high hope, and many were the castles in
the air, or rather the vine clad cottages, which we reared in fancy, for
our future home. Hope, Alfred Bernard, though long deferred, it may
sicken the heart, yet hope, however faint, is better than despair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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